August 12, 2018
I never really got the appeal of James Bond.
I mean, in theory I did. It’s a suave spy dude who fights ZOG’s enemies while wearing a tweed suit and using high-tech gadgets thought up by the nerd A-team in back.
What’s not to like?
I think it was a bit before my time though. And it comes off as goofy to my generation in general. We only say that we like James Bond in a sort of ironic way. Because it’s too problematic to like Bond because of his machismo. Also the stories are a bit too black and white, good vs evil campy, so no one really likes them. They like the idea of liking them. But that’s not quite the same thing as unironically enjoying something. This translates into putting up vintage-looking posters of old films in your room.
And when you’re at a party sipping on a fancy cocktail while wearing a suit, you like to pretend that you’re a super spy and that makes you feel cool.
That’s pretty much it.
It’s no different from breathing out steam in the winter and thinking you’re a dragon breathing fire when you’re a kid.
Can I even use green cartoons anymore?
That’s the effect of James Bond on culture at large.
Basically giving normal, boring, suit-wearing people a way to role-play and feel cool by imitating little rituals from the film like choosing the same cocktail, getting a watch with a secret compartment or actively imitating Bond’s style while chatting with other boring suited-up people pretending they’re doing the same thing.
Another example are all the kids who would make funny little hand symbols back in school and running with their hands behind their back during the Naruto craze. Although to be fair, that could have also been the influence of Sonic.
Except James Bond’s appeal was for slightly higher IQ adults.
Even Star Wars had a bigger and more meaningful cultural impact, because lots of people legit had their understanding of metaphysics changed by the concept of The Force.
Pretty much every normie sort of believes in the existence of The Force nowadays. It was portrayed that interestingly and convincingly. You could talk about how you believe in The Force right now and your friend would take another hit of the bong, cough and be like, “word, dude, I feel you.”
That’s pretty intense when you think about it.
On a personal note, the Jason Bourne series appealed to me more.
It seemed gloomier, more realistic and it pulled you in more. Bourne was brooding and lost. Bond was smug and self-satisfied. Bourne was a nihilistic Gen Xer with no past. Bond was a decadent Boomer bathing in a hedonistic lifestyle.
He’s going to be a nigger now, so in the end Bourne wins by default. End of debate.
The Hollywood chief, 58, told an industry pal “it is time” for the famous spy to be played by a black actor.
Director Antoine Fuqua chatted to Barbara about who will take over from Daniel Craig, 50, if he hangs up his gun after the next Bond film, due next year.
Idris, 45, is in the running to take on the coveted role.
Game over, Bond.
Neither the Russians nor the Chinese nor the Colombians could take you down. But the Jewish execs finally replaced you with a nigger and that’s all she wrote. Your legacy in tatters. *cue evil laugh*