July 23, 2019
“Innocent” girl browsing the dark parts of the Internet.
Girls in their early teens nowadays are engaging in all kinds of stuff that older generations don’t even suspect.
These posts from the Reddit “Am I the Asshole?” community show a glimpse into the current state of teenage women.
First case, from the Reddit post:
My daughter is thirteen, and very introverted. I love her, and she’s the funniest, smartest person I know, but she doesn’t have very good social skills. She has severe anxiety and has struggled with clinical depression since she was nine. She’s my only child, FYI.
Our family’s moving between states at the moment and currently staying at a friends’ house for a month. This whole summer, she’s been very distracted by her phone. She’s always been an avid reader, and when we asked what she was doing all the time she said she was just reading stories online. We assumed it was e-books or something.
We noticed she went over the data limit for the month, so her father asked for her phone and the password. She said no to giving us the password, but agreed to turn the phone off for the rest of the month to avoid going over more. We were understandably concerned, she’s normally very complacent, respectful, and not at all defensive about her phone. So we threatened to take it away entirely unless she told us. She did, after a screaming, sobbing shit-fit, the likes of which I haven’t seen since she was a toddler. When we opened it, we found tons of extremely explicit fanfiction. She’s never shown any interest in sex before, and all of this was between two male characters from a TV show we knew she loved (though we didn’t know how much). There was fanart too. Not all of it was explicit, some of it just seemed like plain old creative writing, but I went through all of it in front of her. She said she’s not using it to get off, she was just curious and found it interesting. I said I was going to start getting into the community too so that I could understand it and she could talk about it with me, but she seemed very opposed to the idea. She begged me not to talk about it more with her father (they have a weird, cold relationship, unfortunately) and I didn’t in front of her. But we find this very concerning.
Given what I know about her lack of social skills, I couldn’t help but feel this wasn’t helping. So I deleted all of what she had saved as well as the pictures. I don’t care that it was gay in nature, I’ve been pretty sure since she was six that she’s lesbian. But this can’t be normal or healthy. I took her phone for a week, removed the password, and when we see her reading things now we always ask her specifically to tell us what it is. She seems to have stopped, I’m not going to check her browsing history.
I told some of my girlfriends about it and they said I was being controlling and insensitive, and that telling them about it was humiliating for her. She doesn’t know I told them, so it can’t be humiliating, and I just want what’s best for her. I can’t imagine this is.
Am I the asshole?
You can see what the consensus on Reddit is from the comments down below:
YTA — this is a typical phase a lot of pre-teen girls go through. i myself did when i was younger (18F now) and am perfectly fine. being 13, it’s a time where you explore your sexuality and are curious about it. it was unnecessary for you to violate her privacy and, in a way, ruin her trust in you.
edit: and “she seems to have stopped”? lol nope. she’s just reading late at night within the security of her room.
Yeah one of my friends had a similar experience with her daughter who is about 12. I told her I read that stuff when I was about her age and went even further watching porn online back then. This is pretty much the norm with internet access being widely available, now.
I was about 15 when I was caught by mom reading stories like that online. Like OP’s daughter I was scolded and punished. All that led to was covering my online tracks better which was pretty easy since my mom is kinda tech illiterate. Don’t get me wrong I love my momma but she doesn’t know the half of what I do online and she never will because what happened when I was a teen.
I don’t know what it is with pre-teens and male gay fanfiction but damn they love it. I reckon I read more Wattpad stories in my pre-teens then actual books over my childhood
On the one hand, it’s natural for 13-year-old girls to be interested in sex. On the other hand, it’s understandable that the mother is creeped out by her daughter’s uh… particular interests.
But it is what it is.
I can vouch for this male gay fan fiction thing being ridiculously popular among pubescent girls. I personally know of 3 cases of girls that were REALLY INTO IT back when they were around 12. One of those cases is blood-related, and she was so open about it that it was clear that this thing was deemed as normal among her group of friends.
Here’s another Reddit post with a similar case:
My daughter (15) lives between me and my ex. I think my ex is a bit too progressive and maybe lax in her parenting, but usually I’m outvoted between her and my daughter. Besides, we think showing one set of rules between both households is better for my daughter. The whole “united front” thing, and punishments and values are mostly the same no matter who she’s living with. I support my ex in most parenting decisions she makes, and I expect her to support me as much as possible.
System’s breaking down because she won’t.
This week I found what only can be described as porn on her phone, and after reviewing the internet history I’ve discovered plenty on her laptop. I knew my daughter read fanfiction, but this isn’t just fanfiction (there’s original works) and it’s not the kind that is appropriate for a kid her age. And I’m not only objecting to her reading X-rated smut (but I do object to that), I’m mostly concerned by the fact that all of it involves some form of torture and is non-consensual. Graphic, non-consensual smut.
I took away her phone, put child locks on her laptop, and grounded her. I called my ex to tell her to do the same, and she had the gall to tell me I’m being a tyrant and to reverse all my punishments because our daughter hasn’t done anything wrong. I was obviously confused, and she continued to accuse me of stunting our daughter’s sexual development by shaming her for a non-con/BDSM kink. But, like, non-consensual fantasies? When she’s fifteen?
I told my wife I’m not bending on this and I expect her to support me the way I’ve always supported her, and she returned that she can’t support me shaming our daughter and that when she comes back to my ex’s house none of my punishments will apply. She’s also just started talking about bringing our daughter back earlier this time before I “corrupt” her, which has stuck with me. My ex has an entirely different position I can’t even fathom, and I’m left wondering if I’m in the wrong.
AITA? Am I overreacting to this?
Women are weird, and they have these weird interests and this weird side to them that often makes men uncomfortable. Fighting to completely suppress their dark nature is a waste of energy and will eventually result in their degeneracy manifesting in some other way. You can’t make them not like rape, so why not piggy-back on their rape-affinity and make them submit to their husband?
Marriage, back in the day, used to mean wives completely submitting to husbands without being able to deny them sex. Not being able to deny sex to a man they find attractive is a very appealing idea to women, a fact that is evidenced by the popularity of this “non-consensual” fan fiction and the success of books such as Fifty Shades of Grey.
Nowadays marriage is not what it was originally intended to be. Wives can deny sex to their husbands, take half of their stuff whenever they feel like it, take their kids and destroy their lives for no reason other than boredom.
You know what would keep wives from getting bored?
Rape is always the answer.
What I want you to get out of the reading of these cases is that taking advantage of women’s nature is better than fighting it. This doesn’t mean liberating them or accepting their degeneracy. It means channeling this side of them as fuel for something productive.
Teenage girls are going to be interested in sex, so why not marry them to good men instead of letting them deal with their lust on their own?
From another Reddit post:
My little sister is staying with me for the summer, and she will celebrate her 15th birthday here in about 3 weeks. I am 32M (she’s my half-sister, we only share our dad, hence the age difference). She’s currently alone here with me and my SO, and her parents will join us for the birthday party.
Everything was going perfectly for the past 3 weeks, she’s a really good kid, loves to help in the kitchen, does chores (voluntarily!), takes our dogs for a walk and so on. But several days ago, I caught her taking photos of herself in her underwear. First, I was shocked at what sort of underwear she has for a 14 year old (lacey red g-string). Then, I saw a cell phone in her hand. I told her to get dressed and come talk to me.
She was crying before we even started to talk. I told her I’m giving her a chance to go into her gallery and delete whatever photos she took before she gives me her phone to check it. It took her several minutes to delete everything, then she gave it to me and I looked at all the photos. I asked her who she was taking them for and how she’s sending them. She said she likes a boy (16) and she sends them to him on Messenger. I asked if I would find these photos in Messenger if I go to her conversation with the boy. She begged me not to open the conversation (and I didn’t). Then I asked where she got the underwear and she said he bought it for her. I asked her if she’s having sex with him (or anyone else), she said no.
I gave her a whole lecture about what is and isn’t legal, what kind of websites her photos could end up on if the boy forwards them, why it’s weird that a 16yo boy is giving a 14yo girl a g-string as a gift and why it’s dangerous to trust anyone with your nudes. I told her about creepy old men online and revenge porn and consent and the inability to give it at 14. I told her she could ruin not only her life, but that boy’s life as well if she doesn’t stop. And I don’t feel like I’ve exaggerated much. She’s promised not to do it again, she deleted her conversation history with the boy and asked him if he could delete her photos because she’s embarrassed, but he said that he likes them and refused to do it. It is what it is.
Finally, I told her I’ll have to talk to her parents, so I spoke to her mom. Now, her mom thinks I’ve done some huge horrific mistake. She doesn’t think it’s weird sending a boy photos of your early teen body in “sexy” underwear and she thinks it’s healthy (?!) that her daughter is “in love”. She’s appalled that I told her about stuff like revenge porn, and threatened to take the kid back home sooner than we agreed unless I leave her alone to do whatever she wants. So now I look like a dickhead and my little sister is confused. I’m pretty sure she’s 1-2 conversations with her mom away from also thinking I was a mean dickhead and just continuing to send the boy her photos.
Two opposite ends of the destruction spectrum: repression (brother’s posture) and empowerment (the girl’s mom’s posture).
The productive alternative is to accept that the girl has natural desires and to help her satisfy those in a way that will bring her long-term happiness and prosperity, which is getting her married to a good man and forcing her to submit to him.
Rape will heal the world.