July 22, 2016
Our old nemesis Alex “Jew Wife” Jones has been in the throes of a great transformation over the past year, moving away from tinfoil and cuckoldry into the realm of shitlording.
He is becoming Alex “Divorced the Jew” Jones.
Monumentally, he pivoted from claiming that Donald Trump was part of a conspiracy by Hillary Clinton to draw votes away from Rand Paul (kek?) to becoming a hardcore Trump extremist. He has also done a shameless 180 on the issue of law-enforcement – he had previously claimed that cops were all evil, and that greatest threat to America, and supported Black Lives Matter in Ferguson, saying the police were oppressing them. Now, he’s gone full “lynch em all” on the Blacks and is defending the cops.
In short, he has proven that he is not committed to any ideology per se, and is willing to totally transform his presentation in order to make it more popular.
This, I believe, is very good.
Because, look – I don’t even care. I have never cared about personalities. What I care about is stopping the Jews. Period. If Alex is willing to dump his autistic conspiracy gibberish and libertarian autism and climb about the VICTORY SHIP, then as far as I’m concerned – welcome aboard, comrade.
This week Jones attempted to start a riot at the RNC, which was really, really funny.
Then he rushed The Young Turks and almost got Cenk to punch him in the face. That was even funnier.
Really, really entertaining stuff from Jones this week.
And let’s not forget Infowars is the one getting all these great videos from the Trump protests. AIDS-Skrillex and Carl the Cuck gained fame in an Infowars video.
So, as I am a veteran of Nazism, I think a listacle is in order – here are seven things Alex Jones can do to help his pivot into Alt-Right Neo-Nazism.
#7. Less Advertisement
Just as clichés are often true, less is often more. And this is definitely true with old school advertisement.
The commercials you run are stale, and cause the younger generation to view you as retro in an uncool way.
Cut out some of the advertisement, and your audience will expand, which will make the advertisement you do have more potent.
#6. Purge All Tinfoil
This is something you’re already well on the way to doing, and we all appreciate that.
Tinfoil conspiracy theories were hip ten years ago, but they’re not hip anymore. As soon as someone starts going into this type of thing, young people are triggered and lose interest. It’s been done to death, and it never went anywhere, and people know it never went anywhere.
The remnant of the tinfoil movement has taken the movement to its logical conclusion, which is that the earth is flat and everything that happens is staged by actors, all aware of the conspiracy are stuck in a Truman Show-type illusory world. As anyone who is into tinfoil will ultimately go full-tinfoil, there is no room for integrating elements of tinfoil into a narrative. You either have to go full-on, telling people they already have computer chips in their brains but that it is useless to get an x-ray to prove it because the x-ray technicians are crisis actors who will use photoshop to alter the x-ray, or just drop it completely. And as you want to appeal to the largest number of people possible, you just want to go ahead and drop all of it.
Protip: Don’t ever apologize for having promoted insane things like chemtrails nanobot mind-control and reptilian overlords. Just pretend like you never said it. Though I would also do your best to purge your YouTube channel.
#5. Market Dick Juice and Other Snake Oil Ironically
You’ve got some serious child support payments to the Jew Ex. I get that. You’ve gotta sell snake oil to keep your massive operation going while also paying that nasty kikess.
The marketing campaign for these products would be much less offensive if you didn’t take it so seriously. Granted, you almost take it so seriously now that it seems like you are trolling, but I would focus on making it more like “lol I’m selling dick juice roflmao wtf, buy this crap it’s funny do it for lulz.”
#4. Use Moar Hilarious Memes
The kids like hilarious memes. They should be employed liberally.
It is a cheap, easy way to signal to right wing young people that you understand their subculture, and I guarantee you they appreciate the gesture.
#3. Stage More Outrageous Spectacles, Particularly with the Blacks
You’ve always been a master of the spectacle, buddy. Use that skill to maximum effect in emphasizing your pivot, and you’ll get the kids on your side.
Please trigger the Blacks as much as possible. Stop sending the Black guy to argue with the Blacks in a logical manner and just send in the guy with the tattoos to try to get them to attack him. Quit it with the “they’re trying to divide the races” nonsense, and just harass Blacks about their crime rate and failure to maintain civilization, try to get them to attack. Blacks attacking is good content.
#2. Fire Paul Joseph Watson
As soon as he attacked me and blocked me on twitter for the Nazi meme instead of laughing it off, it was clear he was too much of an uptight little bitch to ever be of much value.
Paul Joseph Watson has become a caricature of tying too hard. He is pure cancer. Some people haven’t caught onto this yet, but he’s hit his peak and the right people have caught onto it. He is a sinking ship.
Drop him, or you’ll sink with him.
Stefan Molyneux has already dropped him because he screwed him over and made him look stupid with some tinfoil gibberish about the Jo Cox stabbing being a hoax. His energy is waning rapidly, and he’s going to end up in the same hated circle as Gavin McCuck.
The guy with the beard and tattoos is okay.
#1. Stop Talking About Hitler
You don’t have to be pro-Hitler, Alex (although that would be preferable). You just have to stop mentioning him every 7 seconds. At this point, almost all of the right-wing is responding negatively to constant mentions of Hitler, given that this is a tactic used by the left so aggressively. This idea of “throwing it back at them” is ill-conceived. It just triggers people.
Just quit doing it.