June 8, 2019
First things first: there has traditionally never been such a thing as a straight pride parade because we have usually referred to such an occurrence as just a “parade.”
Or a “military parade.”
Straight pride parades are de facto banned in America, just like military triumphs are, but it took this proposal to prove that incontrovertible fact and really hammer the point home.
Days before Boston’s Pride parade fills city streets, celebrating the LGBTQ community, another parade proposal is causing an uproar on social media. John Hugo is the president of a group calling itself Super Happy Fun America. His goal is to create a straight pride parade.
Hugo explains, “We want people to be aware that there is not only one side of things. There’s a lot of people that are uncomfortable with a lot of things that are going on in our country and they’re afraid to speak up.”
The idea for a straight pride parade is one Mayor Walsh is quick to dismiss.
“Quick to dismiss.”
The Gay Mafia is very, very real. It is heterosexuals who are now, officially, a right-wing conspiracy. Seriously, if you were to listen to a gay talk, every single famous person or history-changing figure you may have heard of was actually gay. In other words, it is now officially the PC position that straight people are a myth, like elves or dragons, and that is why they do not deserve their own parades.
“Come on, I don’t know what this straight pride parade is all about. I know that we have a pride parade on Saturday and that’s what I’m going to march in,” Mayor Walsh said.
Boston Pride President Linda Demarco says in a statement: “Boston Pride welcomes everyone to march in the Pride Parade this Saturday, June 8th. We know that straight allies of the LGBTQ community are among the thousands of supporters who come out every year to march, observe and celebrate. We are looking forward to seeing our straight friends, family, and neighbors at the Boston Pride parade and festival this Saturday along with members of the LGBTQ community. In the meantime, we are focused on putting on our largest Boston Pride parade ever.”
“There will be no straight pride parades, but you are welcome to participate in a gay pride parade.” t. Mayor Walsh.
Mayor Walsh lost his lips on a homosexual’s penis before taking office.
The Mayor’s response is actually consistent with the completely irredeemable faggot values of the state of Massachusetts, which is one of the Whitest and most liberal states in the union.
The keynote speaker for the straight people was supposed to be Brad Pitt, but he decided that he was, in fact, a queer and supported the homos instead. I humbly suggest that they offer the job to Mel Gibson next time.
For obvious reasons, Mel is not gay and Mel believes that heterosexuals do, in fact, exist.