August 18, 2019
Oh, great news.
I was just sitting here really worried about the fact that Sudan isn’t a democracy, and wondering when they would become one.
After almost nine months of violence and wrangling, Sudan came a step closer to a civilian government on Saturday when opposition leaders and military generals signed a power-sharing agreement in the capital, Khartoum.
The choice of a fearsome commander on the signing table, and the absence of women who played a crucial role in the protest movement, show that obstacles still remain in Sudan’s path to full democracy.
The agreement follows protests that toppled 75-year-old dictator Omar al-Bashir, ending his 30-year rule over the northeastern African country.
Under Bashir’s iron grip, an entire generation grew up in the shadow of war, where the threat of torture in infamous “ghost houses” was never far away, and press freedom nonexistent.
Following his ouster, the Transitional Military Council (TMC) moved in, announcing a three year transitional period.
But protesters continued their call for civilian rule, and on Saturday thousands of people flooded to the capital to celebrate the historic signing.
The choice of signatories in the power-sharing agreement was heavy with symbolism.
The opposition — the Sudanese Professional (SPA) — put forward Ahmed Al-Rabee, a schoolteacher earning the equivalent of around $33 a month and emblematic of the economic hardship faced by professionals amid Sudan’s institutional corruption.
The TMC, meanwhile, put forward the head of its paramilitary Rapid Support Forces (RSF), Gen. Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo — known simply as Hemedti.
The feared commander, who was Bashir’s former right hand man in the bloody Darfur conflict, has overseen numerous crackdowns on protesters — including on June 3 when more than 100 people were killed outside the capital’s military headquarters.
When Hemedti walked out the signing, he was surrounded by protesters chanting: “Blood for blood. We will not accept blood money,” CNN heard from eyewitnesses.
Hemedti has also supplied Sudanese forces to the Saudi-led coalition fighting in Yemen. And the presence of the Saudi Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, Adel al-Jubeir, at the signing signals the Gulf state will be backing Hemedti in his home country.
Indeed, Saudi Arabia, along with the United Arab Emirates, were among the first nations to acknowledge the TMC’s rule, making billion-dollar donations to shore up the military even as protests continued.
I hope they institute full democracy.
These poor people deserve anal sex and tattoos, and the fact that their fascist leaders are trying to deprive them of these joys is truly a travesty.
All people on earth deserve anal sex and tattoos.
Year ago, humanity was backwards and stupid, and believed in God. Now we’ve realized that God is a very silly concept, and that the patriarchy is pure evil.
What we realized is that there is a universally perfect system for organizing society: democracy.
It provides all people in a country with access to anal sex and tattoos.
People opposed to this system are dangerous and evil, and must be crushed like insects if the world is ever truly going to be free.
It is important for us to get together and attack anyone, anywhere who opposes this system, even if it is in some random black country no one ever even thinks about.
Because they deserve anal sex as well, friends.
And it’s our job to give it to them.
Anyone not having anal sex is a threat to your right to get fucked in the ass and get tattoos without government intervention.