November 2, 2018
What’s the disappearance of a species, compared with the convenience of getting your precious “powdered tiger dick” medicine?
Any Chinese wizard can tell you that the rarer and more endangered a species is, the more potent the magical potion you can concoct out of its internal organs.
This is just common sense – for Chinese wizards.
Considering this, it’s completely insane that the Chinese government had the audacity to ban making magical potions out of tiger and rhinoceros parts.
What the hell were wizards supposed to do?
Imagine if Western governments banned skinning lions to make our magical belts. Unthinkable, right?
Thankfully, common sense prevailed and the Chinese government has once again made it legal to procure such basic supplies as the body parts of tigers and other endangered animals.
China is lifting a 25-year ban on using tiger and rhinoceros parts in medicine, the government announced Tuesday, despite the fact that both these animals are still facing extinction in many parts of the world.
The ban was introduced in 1993 and prohibited the sale or trade of any tiger or rhinoceros body parts for any use throughout China. But this week, China’s State Council announced it was lifting the ban if the parts come from farmed animals and are used or research or healing at accredited hospitals, or if they are antiques.
But the threats against tigers and rhinos have not abated much in the 25 years since the ban was enacted, particularly for some species like the black rhino and populations like the siberian tiger.
Okay, sure, it’d be bad if tigers went extinct.
Tigers have been a part of Chinese culture for millennia.
After all, our best source of Super Male Vitality would be all dried up.
Not the fake American crap, either. The real good stuff.
“If anything, it’s gotten way worse in the past decade,” John Goodrich, Chief Scientist and Tiger Program Senior Director for Panthera, the global wild cat conservation organization, told me over the phone. “Wildlife trading has really taken off. It’s gone off like crazy in the last 10 years—and that includes rhinos and tigers.”
Rhino horns and tiger bones have long been a valued ingredient in certain traditional Chinese medicines, but their use was hindered by the ban, which made it illegal. Goodrich said that tiger farms are already a dismal place, but also emphasized that any legal market can also be used as a cover for an illegal market of poached animals, one that will likely be even more sought-after than any farmed populations.
“Look at ginseng, it’s cheap and easy to farm” Goodrich said, referring to the popular root used in traditional medicine. “Every year, people flood across the border from China into Russia to buy wild ginseng. Illegally crossing the border into Russia is no small feat, yet people are willing to do it, because the wild product is always more valuable.”
Yeah, obviously – farmed crap has impure chi. You want the wild tiger, to get his accumulated virile essence.
A farmed tiger will have terrible chi – probably worse than a cow tbh.
Are you kidding me? Who’d drink a potion made out of this crap?
Goodrich said he was surprised at the Chinese government’s sudden decision to lift the ban, as it has recently taken several strong steps towards improving conservation for some animals, such as banning the trade of elephant ivory and a plan to set up an expansive national parks system.
I’m not surprised.
The chinks know quality. They demand the best.
Making potions with farmed ginseng or chicken livers or whatever will only give you vendor trash.
If you want the best, you need tiger bones.
Now this is what I’m talking about.
Look, I’m not a Chinese wizard, okay? But presumably, the rhino horns are necessary to make the really good stuff. Like, the potions that make you better at brewing potions – that’s when the real results start kicking in.
We should take a cue from our Oriental counterparts and start opening up our laws to allow for truly breathtaking advances in magical and alchemical research.
If we don’t, these chinks are going to leave us in the dust.