February 11, 2019
What is the point of this?
This whole thing is just a made-up problem.
Dickinson College in Pennsylvania published an op-ed in its student newspaper arguing that “white boys” should no longer be “allowed to talk,” due to the lack of melanin in their skin. The author argues that white males are not qualified to share their opinions and should be silenced.
An op-ed entitled, “Should White Boys Still Be Allowed to Talk?” was published Thursday in the student newspaper for Dickinson College, The Dickinsonian. In the piece, the author expresses her frustration with “white boys” being allowed to share their opinions with others.
The author, Leda Fisher, argues that males who have names such as “Jake, Chad, or Alex” have been taught that their voices are the “most important,” but that after listening to these individuals speak, Fisher has decided that not only do these voices lack value, they should also be silenced.
I don’t know what Leda is so worked up about.
Guys named Chad hardly ever speak, preferring instead to communicate through grunts and emojis.
Because of their illiteracy and sex appeal, they will never even hear about this story, because they will be too busy banging far hotter mulattos than the one who wrote that article.
This absolute unit of a woman will never be loved by a guy with a monosyllabic first name and that kills her inside.
She’ll have to settle for a three-syllable guy at best.
Me, I’m a top-shelf one-syllable. Roy. Rolls off the tongue like hot musky lather off a ‘mirin she-mulatto’s sloped brow as she eyes me from across the Holocaust 101 seminar.
One-syllables like me will never get targeted by these disgusting hogs. Only virgins three and two-syllables will.
I highly recommend shortening your name now if you haven’t done so.
Get it as low as you can go.
“American society tells men, but especially white men, that their opinions have merit and that their voice is valuable,” writes Fisher, “but after four years of listening to white boys in college, I am not so convinced.”
“There is an endless line of white boys waiting to share their opinions on the state of feminism in America, whether the LGBTQ+ population finally has enough rights, the merits of capitalism, etc. The list of what white boys think they are qualified to talk about is endless.”
“I am so g****mned tired of listening to white boys,” continues the author, “I cannot describe to you how frustrating it is to be forced to listen to a white boy explain his take on the Black experience in the Obama-era.”
Have you ever heard a Chad share his opinion on the merits of capitalism or “the Black experience in the Obama-era?”
To ask is to chortle and shake your head at the sheer absurdity of the premise.
The tl;dr of this piece is that there’s a fat mulatto out there who is miffed that the college Chads are not giving her the D once a month.
Some helpful college Shlomo has given her an outlet to express her frustration at not getting Chad dicking and now all men have to suffer.
This is all the Chad’s fault tbh.
Back when I was in college, there used to be an ancient custom in place when the Chads would go on the prowl to find ugly girls around the campus.
They’d invite them over to the house for a party.
The guy who invited the ugliest girl would win a prize. The guy who invited the second-ugliest girl would have to bang her. Regardless of the results of the contest, the Chads would just get drunk and bang all the ugly girls anyway.
At the time, I didn’t understand it, but now I understand that this was a service that the local Chads were providing the community. They were giving the D to these shrieking harpies to save hapless Betas from their sex-starved wrath.
But modern-day Chads are selfish and not team-players like their predecessors were.
Chads used to have honor. Chads used to know their role in the delicate poon eco-system. Chads used to have their bro’s backs.
Gone are the days of the noble, selfless Chad.
There is a deep imbalance in the force and these new, selfish Chads do not understand that they are failing the whole delicate ecosystem.
For shame. For shame.
Johnny Bravo would be ashamed of you.
With great Chadiness comes great responsibility.
Take one for the team and bang one of these ugly mutts once in a while.
It is your American duty, and we’ll all be better off for it.