October 15, 2018
WARNING: This music is now proven to literally cause cancer.
Play at your own risk.
Nationalist Science has long-since categorized the music of Michael Bublé as spiritually cancerous, as it causes women to think that they are strong and special, and also causes men to think these same thoughts if they are exposed to it.
The evil (see: Canadian) singer has caused untold suffering in the world by promoting THOTholm Syndrome, and has profited handsomely from it.
Researchers have long since noted a more direct association between cancer and the music of Michael Bublé, which causes men to suffer many of the same effects of chemotherapy, which include including weight loss, hair loss, nausea, anxiety, mouth sores, diarrhea, depression, and lethargy.
It is frequently described by sufferers as “sexual sadomasochism in music form.”
Now, new evidence has emerged of what Science has long since suspected – that in addition to spiritual cancer and cancer-like effects, the music of Michael Bublé also literally causes cancer.
Michael Bublé has officially retired from music following his son Noah’s cancer battle.
The singer, 43, explained that the heartache he endured following son’s cancer diagnosis at just three years old has changed his ‘perception of life’ and he is now done with fame.
Noah, now five, is currently in remission following his battle with liver cancer, but the ordeal has been life-changing for Bublé, who has since questioned his career in showbusiness.
We can now safely add “Listening to Michael Bublé” to the list.
The Canadian singer has won four Grammys and sold 75 million records, earning him some £35 million a year.
Of course, he was perfectly happy to rake in the millions as he infected the world with cancer – but now that the chickens have come home to roost, he’s begun to question what he was even doing all this time.
He’s very emotional. His brown eyes well up at the mere mention of the C word, and it’s clear he’s still living in the shadow of what he describes as two years of hell.
The message of emotional weakness and self-doubt in his music seems to have affected his own cognition severely.
‘You just want to die,’ he says. ‘I don’t even know how I was breathing.
‘My wife was the same and even though I was the stronger of the two of us, I wasn’t strong. My wife was… I’m sorry, I can’t make it to the end of the sentence… let’s just say we find out who we are with these things.’
You could have just asked me who you were years ago when I was first exposed to your terrible music, Bublé, and spared us the suffering of the innocent.
I would have just told you, free of charge.
I guess you were too busy making money and being worshiped by whores, though.
He says that one way he got through it was to pretend he was Roberto Benigni’s character from Life Is Beautiful. The 1997 film was set in a concentration camp and the way Benigni’s character, Guido, and his son coped was to make a joke of everything.
‘I don’t know if that was a choice, but that’s who I became,’ he says. ‘For instance, I never called it the hospital, I called it the fun hotel.
Who would have known a man who sold happy fantasies about things that don’t exist would take refuge in a movie about pretending that something that never happened, didn’t happen?
Does that mean that Life Is Beautiful is a Holohoax denial movie?
Are Jews self-destructive because they’re secretly antisemitic?
‘But my whole being’s changed. My perception of life. I don’t know if I can even get through this conversation without crying. And I’ve never lost control of my emotions in public.’
Have you ever had control of your emotions in public, Michael?
Does this look like emotional self-control to you?
‘I’d started to do things out of my comfort zone, like presenting, and the truth is it had been a while since I’d been having fun. I’d started to worry about ticket sales for my tours, what the critics said, what the perception of me might be.’
He grabs the net voile from behind the curtain and puts it over his face. ‘I felt like I was living with this over my face and the reality I was seeing was blurred by it.
‘But the diagnosis made me realise how stupid I’d been to worry about these unimportant things. I was embarrassed by my ego, that it had allowed this insecurity.
Were you also embarrassed that you let your first-born son get so fat while you were off making money by driving men to suicide?
Holy crap, Michael – were you fattening him up for slaughter?
‘And I decided I’d never read my name again in print, never read a review, and I never have. I decided I’d never use social media again, and I never have.’
You should, man – at least so we can tweet some diet advice at you. No child deserves to suffer like that.
It seems that his son’s illness ignited this realisation that he’d become fixated on his own success. ‘I don’t have the stomach for it any more,’ he says.
‘The celebrity narcissism. I started to crumble. But then I started to wonder why I wanted to do this in the first place.
‘It was much easier for people to pass the buck to me because I was insecure enough already. I would digest it and say, “It’s my fault. I’m absolutely rubbish.”
Yeah, man – if you’re feeling insecurity, that might be your soul screaming in pain, and telling you that what you’re doing has no real purpose.
I don’t suffer from insecurity because I understand what I do in a historical and spiritual context. If Michael had thought about what it means to his soul and to history to be promoting vagina idolatry in a time when liberated skanks are slowly torturing vagina-worshipers to death on an industrial scale, maybe some of this suffering could have been avoided.
It sucks that you gave your kid cancer, Michael.
I’m not making fun of that – he did nothing wrong.
But you gave cancer to a lot of people.
You got very rich doing it.
You need to own up to that, and deal with it.
Your music was really, really bad.
It’s nothing personal. You seem like you’re just caught up in the same delusion you’ve been selling – but I’m glad you quit. I’ve got the cure for all your cancer right here, and I’m gonna give it to you in just a second – but you need to understand what I’m trying to tell you.
‘It affected me and I started to think, “It’s all going to go. I’m going to lose everything.”
You never had anything to begin with.
It was never yours, not even for a moment.
In the midst of Life, we are in Death.
Let it go.