July 21, 2018
I had a rough winter. Some physical injuries, personal setbacks and social disagreements basically made me a hermit that didn’t want to leave his cave for a while. At first I remember feeling really angry, at my stupid injury, and the people that I had foolishly chosen to spend my time and energy on, but that feeling quickly gave way to depression, lethargy and apathy.
Shut up, there’s a point to this.
As the weather improved, my diet improved and I started exercising again. I also finally found some smart red-pilled people to hang out with. Just like that, my mood improved drastically.
I started feeling angry again. Like today, I read Andrew’s post about the South African farmer trying to GTFO of South Africa and move to Russia and all the bureaucratic bullshit he’s going through to avoid getting stabbed by a nigger.
Usually, I don’t feel much when I read stories like this. I know the score. Shit’s bad and there’s a lot of bad news coming in every day, so I just kind of shrug and move on. That’s the apathy I mentioned from before.
But this time, I read the story and could physically feel my heart rate increase, my face flush and my breathing intensify. That story got me mad. But as usual, there is little that I can do on a personal, individual level to help this man or the plight of based South African farmers like him.
It occurs to me that depression is sort of a defense mechanism that our hind brain has developed specifically for situations like this.
I mean, you probably know that depression can be triggered by feelings of hopelessness and/or the feeling that nothing we can do can change the situation we find ourselves in.
But I think depression is basically a cool-down mechanism of the mind to basically get you to not pick a fight that your hind brain thinks you can’t win. The only problem is that the more complicated and scaled up that society has gotten, the less easy it is to identify the enemy, and accurately assess if you can take him out.
What are you looking at, little man?
For example, how are we supposed to fight a faceless bureaucracy of well-meaning shabbos know-nothings who are ruining our nations?
It feels like we’re up against an intangible and insurmountable force of evil largely founded on cowardice, stupidity, and apathy. And while “evil” is easy to define and feel no moral qualms about quashing, the other three are a bit more grey. We wish that the cowards would sack up and hope that one day they might. We wish that the idiots might wise up and start acting in their own best interest. And of course, we hope against hope that the apathetic might snap out of it.
How can you even hate these people? Just taking into account these three qualities you basically account for the overwhelming mass of people in the modern White world. And while I believe that the quotient of these people was far less a hundred years ago, in some way, these vices have always been with us as a people – only in recent years, they’ve become institutionalized and almost a prerequisite for functioning in the bugmanocracy that we’ve got running our countries.
Faced with an amorphous and all-permeating “system” you can feel overwhelmed, and so the anger passes in the exact same way that your anger would pass if you were up against a caveman twice your size, armed with a spiked club back in pre-historic times.
Your anger gets depressed because it’s a survival mechanism.
And I think this feeling is wide-spread even in normie society. We see it in movies all the time. This idea that pressing a certain button or finding a small weak spot can somehow end the oppressive system with a big satisfying kaboom. We’re all basically hoping against hope for a weak point, a chink in the armor, an exhaust vent(?) in the Death Star.
It feels cathartic to see the rebels blow it up.
On a personal level, I know that it is difficult to not get depressed and the alternative, anger, is a dangerous emotion. I can’t in good faith encourage anyone to get mad.
I can, however, give you some advice on how to deal: basically you just gotta focus on one part of the problem.
Yes, there’s a lot of injustice and it is systemic. Everywhere you turn, it feels like great evil is being done. But you need to focus on one aspect of it. Basically picking a fight with an opponent your own size.
Yes, there’s a big mega boss bowser kike waiting for you on level ten, but before you can get there, you gotta knock out the henchmen on levels one through nine. So see if there’s one thing or one enemy that you know you can take on. It also helps to personify the problem. As long as your fight is with an all-pervasive, omnipotent system, you can never really win because you don’t even know how to start the fight.
So you get depressed or you go full tactical bowl-cut.
But maybe the PC beta male in your friend group who kills the vibe and tries to turn the group against you is a better target. Maybe it’s just your neurotic boss. Both are part of the system, but they’re also within your reach. Shutting down the annoying tattle-tale beta in your group with a well-delivered bullyciding campaign or waging a guerrilla war against your boss like Jack does in Fight Club are ways to fight the good fight, not give into rage, but also not give in to depression and despair.
I realize more and more that life is not so much about raging against the system or keeping your head down as much as it is about picking good fights.
Also, yeah, workout and eat right and take showers. That helps too.