November 23, 2019
Elizabeth Warren is running to become America’s Mommy-in-Chief and to bring the rebellious Zoomer generation back into line with the help of a stiff ruler and a stern talking to. But before she can do that, she has to get through the Basketball American community.
For some reason, they don’t seem to like 70-year-old Native American women who look like homeroom teachers telling them how things are going to be.
Dozens of protesters interrupted Elizabeth Warren’s campaign rally at Clark University in Atlanta, Georgia the night after the debate, causing supporters in attendance to counter with chants of their own.
The protesters, nearly all black men and women, were all wearing matching black shirts with white lettering that read: ‘Powerful Parent Network.’ About five minutes into her stump speech, the group began stomping their feet on the rhythmically on the gymnasium risers in the L.S. Epps Gymnasium at the historically black university.
They then began recited several chants, including: ‘We want to be heard.’
This prompted the hundreds of others attending the rally in support of Warren to chant back, ‘Let her speak.’
Warren gave up trying to speak over the shouting and appeared to want to wait it out.
Mommy is not used to being shouted down. Why would the mischievous children do that? To Warren of all people – the hippest candidate out there!
Time to deploy a tactical POC!
When she was able to continue her speech after a few minutes of protest, the demonstrators persisted.
Finally, freshman Representative Ayanna Pressley, a black congresswoman for Massachusetts who has endorsed Warren and introduced the candidate a few minutes earlier, came back on stage to attempt to silence the protesters.
‘I want to say something,’ Pressley said when she joined the candidate on stage. ‘No one is here to quiet you, least not this black woman, who know what it is when people have tried to put me in a corner and tell me to be silent.’
Warren stood over Pressley’s right shoulder as her congressional colleague came to her defense.
‘You are welcome here,’ she continued. ‘The senator is here to talk about the contributions fighters like you have made to history.’
Folks, there’s no other way to put this, but with the other candidates falling behind, we have to (reluctantly) start reporting on Elizabeth Warren. Personally, I get hit with a strong gag reflex every time I see/hear her up there on stage pretending to be my concerned mommy who thinks giving the bully-billionaires a stern talking to will stop them stealing the lunch money. But I guess we’re going to be talking about her now.
It really is a shame.
I would have preferred covering Joe Biden instead because he and his senior moments are just so much more fun.
The memes write themselves.
The best we can hope for with Elizabeth Warren is that black people will continue to harass her and eventually trigger a Heated Gamer Moment. To my knowledge, Elizabeth Warren has not officially been awarded an N-Word Pass by the Basketball American community to date.
I think it would be a huge mistake for her to use any gamer words before the ink on the certificate dries.
In fact, I would strongly advise against it.
One more unforeseen problem going forward is that Elizabeth Warren will be forced to keep a black person near her at all times to defend her against other irate POCs trying to protest her proposed Mommy Occupation Government. This will wear her down as the campaign continues because black people are very hard to deal with in larger doses because of their entitled and childish behavior.
In other words, her attempt to stave off the inevitable will backfire.
I’m calling it now: it is only a matter of time before Elizabeth Warren drops a hard N at a rally, folks.
She may even beat Biden to the punch (heh) if this continues.