God Should be a Bitch Says Church of England’s Slut Priestesses

Hamish Patton
Daily Stormer
June 3, 2015

Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you wanted?

At a time when the Christian faith is struggling for relevance in an increasingly secular western world, a bunch of bible-bashing bleeders in England have made it that little bit less desirable to join the church by arguing that God should be considered a ‘she.’

The Express reports how a feminist pressure group within the Church of England is squabbling with the male hierarchy like a coven of feminist Jewish social science majors and insisting that the concept of God being a ‘he’ is just male oppression. WATCH, or Women and the Church, have their blessed bloomers in a twist over the use of the divine HE when describing or addressing the almighty.

Emma Percy, a member of this gaggle of god-bothering girlies, issued a statement in which she narked, “When we use only male language we reinforce the idea that God is like a man and, in doing so, suggest than men are therefore more like God than women,” adding, “If we take seriously the idea that men and women are made in the image of God both male and female language should be used.”

Naturally, this is what has come of allowing bitches to be priests. Hilary Cotton, who has the oppressively masculine title of chairman of WATCH prattled on about how the “issue” had been discussed at a high level within the Anglican church, which was now working hard to please these whining feminists by feminising the liturgy.

The holy hussy harped on about how, “We are at a very preliminary stage in terms of shifting the language of worship.

“The question of how might we rewrite the worship services of the church of England in a way that broadens our understanding and perception of God is a really difficult question per which we will wrestle for a number of years to come.”

Soon, holy precession will be replaced with slut walks, as fat lesbian priests in bras demand people believe someone somewhere wants to have sex with them.
Soon, holy precession will be replaced with slut walks, as fat lesbian priests in bras demand people believe someone somewhere wants to have sex with them.

Sounding like an uppity dindu during black history month, she then made the tall claim that, “This has arisen now in part because of the change in gender culture, but actually it has emerged at all sorts of points in Christian history.”

Yeah, sure… the women’s rights lobby has its own chapter right there in the bible between ‘thou shalt not flush thy sullied sanitary pads down the brasco,’ and ‘God maketh woman bleed because she deserves to.’ Or something.

Yapping on and on as women do, snoozing reporters woke up long enough to jot down her droning remarks about how this sexist non-secularism arose from a chauvinistic early history stretching back to the church’s origins in Rome.

Earlier in this year of our Lord, or Lady, the Church of England took its firmest step yet in the process of destroying Christianity by anointing their first female bishop. Libby Lane, which sounds like a stripper’s stage name, was consecrated as the Bishop of Stockport.

Thus, the brides of Christ are all lesbians, and any intemperate rumbling of nature is just God having her period.

Meanwhile, the recruiting line at the local mosque just got a whole lot longer.

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