November 14, 2019
Sonic the Hedgehog got a redesign after a mass fan outcry at the original CGI version that was presented to them.
People say the new Sonic is better, but me, I feel like that’s missing the point.
In early May, the first trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie was released to almost universal criticism. The problem was, Sonic just looked… terrifying. Instead of the adorable16-bit hero most of us remember, this CGI Sonic was all wrong. His legs were weirdly tapered, and the body proportions were wrong, with perhaps the worst bit being that nightmare of mouth, full of teeth.
The backlash was immediate (and well-founded) and heard remarkably quickly. Within two days the film’s director Jeff Fowler announced that changes would be made before the film’s release, a date that soon slipped to February 2020—presumably once the scope of the work set in. On Tuesday, the extent of that became clear with the release of a new trailer for the movie, featuring a much-improved render of the main character.
The human body proportions are a thing of the past; now Sonic’s feet are big and his ankles are implausibly wider than his thighs. His torso has shrunk, particularly at the waist, and his hands are now massive and once again clad in the proper white gloves. Our hedgehog’s head has swelled, as have his eyes, and when he opens his mouth I no longer want to shriek in horror until professionals come and sedate me.
Those changes are all in line with the wishes of members of Sonic’s original Japanese development team, and we think most sentient beings would agree that they’re a vast improvement on what we saw earlier this year.
Based nips stepped in and said, “enough is enough, stop making this nightmare shit.”
And yeah I agree that there really is no argument to be made for the original design. It’s unsettling and wrong.
But more to the point, so is making a live-action movie of a video game character. More so, one designed to launch a very basic platform game in the 90s.
This trend where they make a live-action of everything is cancerous and a pure cash grab by Hollywood studios, who have given up all semblance of pretending to be good at telling stories and now just blatantly treat the whole movie-making operation as one big ethnic grift.
This is insulting to TRVE Aryan Gamers everywhere.
Now, video games and movies don’t have to be separate and one medium can be a good influence on the other – but only so long as they respect the rules of the medium. In other words, you can have a video game that took influences from a movie and vice versa, but serious structural changes have to be made to fit the medium.
This all comes to mind because I just watched Escape From New York for the first time and immediately saw where Kojima got a lot of his influence from, all the way down to the names he chose for his characters in the Metal Gear series.
This was just taking inspiration, and it worked out well. The two characters’ identities meld into and complement one another to the benefit of both franchises.
But the opposite is harder, and has, to my knowledge, only been done once in cinematic history: the Mortal Kombat movie.
Luckily for movie-makers, 30-year-old coomsumers will pay to see anything as long as it has a beloved childhood character headlining it.
Sonic as a game was pretty good for its time – fair nuff.
Does it deserve to have a movie though?
Well, does Kirby? Does Yoshi?
They did actually make a Mario movie that one time.
How many more of these movies are they going to make? 30-year-old coomsumers seem to have bottomless pockets and a self-identity based entirely on old comic books, vidya and cartoons from the 90s, so I’m guessing Hollywood kikes are going to just go down the list and keep milking the pay-piggies out of every single Saturday morning memory ’till the squealing stops.
That being said, the premise behind the POKÉMON Detective Pikachu idea wasn’t all that bad.
I mean if you’re going to do something similar, they should do it like they did it with Pikachu – with fewer black people, please.