December 14, 2018
A Russian just pleaded guilty to liking guns.
Maria Butina, the Russian woman arrested in July and accused of acting as a foreign agent within the United States has pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy.
Butina was accused of acting as a Russian agent to infiltrate the National Rifle Association (NRA) lobby group which is closely linked to Republican politicians close to US President Donald Trump and to sway US foreign policy toward Moscow.
When asked by a judge whether the charges read by prosecutors were correct, Butina responded: “Yes.”
tfw you lose complete faith in the American judicial system
Well, now I’ve seen it all.
This officially proves that Russia funds the NRA, which in turn controls the GOP, which in turn controls Trump!
How do I know this? Well, the kid who totally isn’t some kind of weird FBI Youth astroturf social media phenomenon said so.
It’s official: The Russian government used the NRA to conspire against the American people. https://t.co/cNK3krR2C2
— David Hogg (@davidhogg111) December 13, 2018
The NPCs replying to him are batshit insane. They’re really connecting all the dots from the Kremlin to the NRA to Trump here.
Putting my self into the shoes of a Russian, I can’t even imagine how I would explain the craziness of this story to them.
Russian: But, why would zey arrest Maria? She was spreading American values, yes? She wanted to bring ganz to Russia. Is zis not part of cowboy ping pang boom culture?
Me: No, see the whole guns thing is under assault. It’s considered extremely unfashionable to be pro-gun. American lawmakers are trying their best to get rid of the 2nd Amendment.
Russian: Why arr you Amerikosi listening to little child on ze intertubes? Who is this… hog-boy?
Me: He’s a school shooting “survivor.” Funny enough, his dad is an FBI agent and he seems to have been hand-picked by the media to be a youth anti-gun leader. Anyone who critiques him gets banned from Twitter. Most Americans hate him but are forced to listen to his opinions by the media.
Russian takes a long drag on his cigarette as he looks at me suspiciously, suspecting that I am on hard drugs right now.
Me: And now they want to use Maria’s forced confession as proof that Russians are Fascists who want American White men to be armed and to support Donald Trump, who is a Kremlin agent hellbent on killing America’s brown population with the help of Alt-Right tiki torch squads. This might lead to the president’s impeachment.
Russian: Gospodi! What in hell iz going on in zat awful place!?
Me: I know, I know. In Weimerica, child wags finger at you!