May 6, 2018
He might be the first man in history to be remembered less fondly than the tumor that killed him.
Nobody wants to have a bunch of people gloating over their deaths at their funeral. John McCain is no exception.
But here’s the thing: if he didn’t want people celebrating his agonizing death, maybe he shouldn’t have spent his entire life plotting to destroy America?
If McCain wants only people who will genuinely mourn him at his funeral, he probably needs to have it set in Israel.
People close to Sen. John McCain have told the White House that the ailing Arizona Republican does not want President Donald Trump to attend his funeral and would like Vice President Mike Pence to come instead, a source close to McCain confirmed to NBC News.
I dunno, I bet Trump would make a killer speech. Though it would probably be more of a roast. Man, I’d pay a lot of money to see that.
You know Trump would just make this face during the entire ceremony.
McCain, 81, has been battling an aggressive form of brain cancer for nearly a year and is back home in Arizona after he underwent surgery last month for an intestinal infection.
The senator, the 2008 GOP presidential nominee, said in an audio excerpt this week of his forthcoming memoir, “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here,” according to a clip aired by NPR.
When you know you could die at any moment, you need to live as if every day could be your last. For normal people, that means connecting with their families, putting their affairs in order and making peace with their Gods.
In McCain’s case, however, that meant putting his shilling into OVERDRIVE.
What a sick bastard.
The White House did not immediately return a request for comment.
Trump did not attend the recent funeral of former first lady Barbara Bush in Houston, Texas, in order “to avoid disruptions due to added security, and out of respect for the Bush Family and friends attending the service,” the White House said last month. First lady Melania Trump attended the service instead, along with former Presidents George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and former first lady Hillary Clinton.
I bet the real reason is because he couldn’t find the right words to subtly humiliate the entire Bush family during the occasion. And also, because you just know the catering would suck.
We don’t want to eat your disgusting cucumber sandwiches and shitty burritos.
McTumor’s unnatural resilience to death is giving me a major case of blue balls here. It’s taking so long the reservations I made for the celebration party I’m organizing are expiring. Is the McCain family going to pay me damages for that? I bet they won’t even have the courtesy.
These people are the scum of the earth.