September 30, 2018
Holy Mercifulfulfulfulful Mary Mother of God, Aye Begorrah!
Every single news story on the news feed is about Kavanaugh!
I have never seen a story blanketed like this.
Even Trump’s election win was not blanketed like this.
This is literally the most reported news story in all of American history.
And there isn’t actually a story. They are not adding anything new. They are just bringing people out to comment on it and call him evil. Matt Damon, that dyke Mexican bitch from the Parkland shooting – everyone.
And it is all the same thing: HE MUST BE STOPPED.
I’ll bet this poor paddy sonovabitch is wishing he was back home in Derry.
I just cannot imagine what is going through his head.
I can’t even imagine what is going through my head.
Thank God it’s a Sunday, and I am not really expected to cover much news – because there is literally nothing to write about.
Elon Musk getting sanctioned by the SEC and forced to step down as the head of the board of Tesla is actually a big story, and that is getting reported on the back page, so I’ll write about that.
But the rest of this shit – I’m about to take the day off. There just aren’t even any news stories to cover. The media appears to have decided “no stories will be reported, except this one, even though there is no actual story.”
And all of this is for three people: Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins and the Dastardly Fiend and Coward Jeff Flake.
You know the funny thing is I could just put up this right now and take the rest of the day off and be fully justified. No one could say shit to me. I have vowed to work every day (except Christmas, when I only write one article) and have done so successfully for five years and 3 months.
Speaking of Christmas and making fun of drunken Irishmen – this is my favorite non-religious Christmas song.
Possibly the only non-religious Christmas song written by a non-Jew.
But back to the thing before that – I am really honestly addicted to writing this site. I can’t take a day off. I live and thus I must write.
But jeez, man, jeez.
I can’t write any more about this Kavanaugh shit.
Either two of the three women (Jeff Flake is a tranny, not a real woman) feel that there has been enough of a blanket storm to justify a “nay” vote, or they don’t. The FBI isn’t going to come out and say “yeah, we found Sony handcam recordings of this bog-trotting drunk running a rape gang in high school – this is totally legit.”
So this is all just meaningless. It is the definition of meaninglessness.
Since we’re talking about the Irish, I just want to say: James Joyce sucks. Odysseus is a pretentious piece of boring crap. As are all books from English literature class, sans Moby Dick.
The novel is basically a failed art form.
EXCEPT for the science fiction novel.
That is good.
But every Irish sci-fi writer is shit, except for Jonathan Swift, if you want to call him a science fiction writer, which I might just be likely to do.
Swift was genuinely a genius, and a big inspiration on me.
I can only imagine what Swift would be saying about this Kavanaugh scandal and the coverage.
Actually though, I could totally imagine it. Without trouble, I can imagine it.
In fact, I could write a piece in the style of Swift on this topic. And that would take all day.
That is one thing people probably don’t give me enough credit for – I write over ten articles pretty much every day. And I have to spend however much time reading the stuff I need to know to write all those articles. Imagine if I was just writing one, how good it would be. It would be incredible. Each day, you would have one amazing article instead of 14 with stupid jokes and a rapist’s wit.
Seriously, if I took the rest of the day to write a Swiftian satire on the Kavanaugh situation, it would win a Pulitzer. It would be so good.