June 24, 2019
It’s Monday, and the word of the day is “moustache.”
“Mustache” is also acceptable.
Both spellings are correct.
There aren’t many words like that, right?
Likewise, there aren’t many m(o)ustaches quite like John Bolton’s.
The US National Security Adviser is a proud recipient of the Zionist Organization of America’s “Defender of Israel” award, but he actively seeks greater glories and loftier heights.
Medals and ribbons and ceremonies are alright, I suppose.
There are more important things, though.
The most important thing isn’t a one-time reward, but having the freedom to pursue your grandest dreams.
And what dream could be grander than acquiring an ultra-rare S-ranked Demon Lord Moustache?
The odds of attaining this powerful accessory are roughly one in six gorillion.
That’s a lot of loot boxes.
People all over the internet are paying tribute to the apocalyptic moustache.
What’s next for Bolton, after having attained the legendary upper-lip equipment?
No one knows, but one thing is for certain:
With such a powerful accessory, Bolton truly has the world at his fingertips.
We can only speculate what’s next.
We may not have answers yet, but we do have memes.
Let’s take a look at ’em, shall we?
That’s it for this week.
Next Monday, we will have survived another National Faggot Month.
See you at the finish line.