March 15, 2019
Secure that mf bag
The Trump Train has crashed and the United States of America appears to be doomed. The country is being overrun with third world populations and the prospect of nuclear war along with widespread economic collapse grows by the day. Our only choice now is to support an Asian businessman who wants to give each of us $1,000 in free money every month. Because no matter if nukes destroy every city in America, $1,000 is still $1,000 and you can do lots of things with $1,000.
But you don’t have to take my word for it. Take Nicolas Cage’s word for it. Cage is fully on board the Yang Gang and has donated money to the man himself.
I think Nicolas Cage may have donated to my campaign. It is done.
— Andrew Yang (@AndrewYangVFA) March 11, 2019
So yes, it is done. Because when Nicolas Cage gets behind something, you know shit just got real.
Cage is a film acting legend.
Every movie that Cage appears in is automatically awesome because he appears in it. In fact, it is impossible to name a bad Nicolas Cage movie. They simply don’t exist.
Cage is also a very smart and wise man. He recognizes the value of $1,000 and recognizes that he can do lots of things with $1,000.
Nick Cage outside Bezos’ place, leading a bag relocation squad.
Plus a man the stature of Cage would never lead anybody astray. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from life, it is that Nicolas Cage is never wrong. So if you are hesitant about joining the Yang Gang, you shouldn’t just do it for the $1,000 a month in free money, you should do it because Nicolas Cage said so.