May 21, 2019
This is a totally normal society you’re living in, you stupid goyim.
A man once believed to have been the world’s fattest has announced plans to return to the UK from the United States so he can start claiming benefits again.
Paul Jonathan Mason, 59, – who proudly brands himself the ‘former world’s fattest man’ online, revealed he has almost doubled in size – from 275lbs (19 stone) to 500lbs (35 stone) – nine years after life-saving gastric band surgery.
That’s almost a quarter of a ton, which is almost double what an average killer whale weighs at birth.
He announced plans to return home on Monday afternoon, saying: ‘I need to return to the UK where I will be eligible for the assistance I need to get my life back on track.’
The disabled Brit, who has lived in Massachusetts since 2014, also revealed that he let his visa expire, implying that he has no choice but to leave the States.
Speaking on Monday, he said: ‘I want to give you all an update on my situation.
His first “announcement” is about getting welfare.
Hope you’re happy about paying taxes.
This was the picture it put with the announcement. Notice the dark-colored clothes, which it probably thinks makes it look thinner. If you wanna see more pictures of this thing, here’s its Facebook photos.
‘After nearly 5 years living in the US, the time has come for me to soon return to the UK.
‘I will go into more detail in the coming weeks and months, but what I can say now is that over the years living in the US I made some wrong decisions which has led to some bad consequences.’
The retired postal worker added: ‘Some of those being letting my visa expire, moving in with someone who was a bad influence and because of these and other choices I made, I’ve put on weight.
You got fatter because your visa expired?
Are you fucking retar… Wait, why am I even asking that?
Paul is said to have relapsed and gotten addicted to food again after splitting with his girlfriend in 2018, with his binges almost doubling his weight, and putting him at risk of multiple health complications.
Note to any incels reading this – if this blob could convince a (presumably mentally defective) human female to try and find his dick under all that lard, then you have no excuse.
Quit your whining and start doing push-ups.
At his heaviest, Paul weighed in at 980 pounds and spent the decade before his gastric band operation bed-bound at his old home in Ipswich, Suffolk.
The problem was never with its stomach, it was with its brain:
He piled on the pounds after comfort eating to try and console himself about his size, but was eventually granted an NHS gastric bypass operation in 2010.
Read that again.
And once more.
Any society that gives this thing the right to vote – nay, the right to exist – is a society that must be destroyed at any cost.
Paul then had two free operations at New York’s Lennox Hill Hospital to remove around 60 pounds of excess skin which hung from his body after he lost weight.
Firefighters then removed him from the property with a forklift.
More time and money well-spent!
Last November, Paul was charged with using his mobility scooter to steal $225 of goods including perfume and phone chargers from a Walmart near his home, before driving off on his electric scooter.
If I were a Jew, I’d blame America for the fascist act of not giving this creature enough welfare.
But I’m not a Jew, so I’m just gonna go sharpen my tools for the Day of the Harpoon.
The more you know about lardbeasts, the more you realize that they’re even worse on the inside than on the outside.