May 8, 2018
Here’s an interesting fact for you: bears have the greatest sense of smell in the animal kingdom. In fact, experts estimate that the bear’s sense of smell is 7 times better than that of a bloodhound and 2,100 times better than that of a human.
So when the smelliest creature on God’s green earth – the head-bobbing, cold-calling Indian – enters a bear’s territory, filling the air with the pungent aroma of vindaloo and causing all plant life within a two-mile radius to wilt, that bear is going to be pissed.
And he’s certainly not going to be in the mood for a freakin’ selfie.
A man was mauled to death by a bear after he reportedly tried to take a selfie with the creature.
After stopping to go to the toilet on his way home from a wedding, Prabhu Bhatara is said to have spotted the injured animal in the Nabarangpur district of Odisha in India.
HE WAS LITERALLY PLANNING TO POO IN THE BEAR’S GARDEN!
These loo-evading pajeets, I swear.
And there’s me assuming that the Indian merely intended to sell the local wildlife a pirated copy of Windows 10 or something. At least then the bear could just say “NOT INTERESTED” and tell him to bugger off, like the rest of us.
But no; the Indian had to go further. He saw a pristine clearing in the woodland, thought “jackpot!” and planned to drop his sequined pants right in the middle of it.
His fellow SUV passengers advised him against trying to take a picture with the creature.
As he sidled up, the bear struck and a struggled ensued. A stray dog also stepped in and bit the bear but its intervention failed to deter the larger animal.
Forest ranger Dhanurjaya Mohapatra said Mr Bhatara “died on the spot.”
What? The stray dog helped the Indian?
Well… I suppose if you live in India, you’re going to get used to the smell over time. You might even end up thinking it is normal like Sir Didymus, the valiant fox terrier who resided in the Bog of Eternal Stench.
But seriously, that is one brave dog. Imagine taking on a big bear like that.
If I were in that situation, I would throw the Indian at the bear while I made a hasty getaway. I would also throw the Indian at the bear to save the pupper.
Come to think of it, I don’t think there’s a single conceivable scenario in the multiverse in which I wouldn’t throw an Indian at a bear if I could get away with it.
India had the highest rate of deaths linked to selfies for the two years between March 2014 and September 2016, with 60 per cent of all deaths taking place there, a study claimed last year.
Of 127 reported selfie deaths in that period, 76 occurred in India, a collaborative study by researchers from Carnegie Mellon University and Indraprastha Institute of Information Delhi found.
THE HIGHEST RATE OF DEATHS LINKED TO SELFIES!
It just keeps getting better…
Indians really are the laughing stock of the planet.
Never have I seen a people that so effortlessly combine filthiness and stupidity with pure, unregulated autism. Yeah, black Africans are also filthy and stupid, but you don’t see them begging for bobs and vagene on Facebook or other nonsense like that.
That is an exclusively pajeetish trait.
These people are a joke.