July 7, 2018
WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?
Literally – and by that I mean figuratively – why are you still reading this? The headline should have been enough. Get in your panic bunker ASAP. There’s going to be a killer virus on the loose.
Dutch police are trying to trace a powerful paralyzing poison stolen from the vault of a museum of medicine in the Netherlands.
A jar of curare, a plant extract sometimes used in blow dart guns and on arrows, went missing on Wednesday morning from Leiden’s Boerhaave Museum, according to Omroep West news.
The stolen glass case contained a small dark block of the poison about the size of a sugar cube, reports Holland’s The Post Online.
“We are now urgently looking for the poison,” a Leiden police spokesperson said. “It should not be on the street where people can come into contact with it.”
Museum director Amito Haarhuis said the toxic substance was being held in a safety deposit box before it was due to be destroyed. The museum was not prepared to put the poison on display because of its harmful nature. The muscle relaxant is used for euthanasia in Holland and is also used by native tribes for hunting.
“We do not want anyone to touch this poison,” Haarhuis warned. “That is why we decided together with the police that we did not want to run any safety risk. We thought we had stored it safely, but we had not taken this into account.”
It’s understood that a cash sum was also taken by thieves in the Leiden raid.
Panic aside, I’ve always been partial to thieves robbing vaults and stealing artwork.
I always thought that it was a classy way of doing crime – not like mugging grannies or milking the welfare state.
And really, who got hurt in jobs like the hit on the Antwerp Diamond Exchange? Just some Jews.
Seriously, the School of Turin is some IRL Ocean’s Twelve-tier shit. How can you not respect that, even if just grudgingly??
In another life, I would have liked to be an Italian diamond thief a la the School of Turin that hit the Antwerp Diamond exchange or perhaps stealing Incan ceremonial masks like Danny Ocean from Ocean’s Eleven before Brad Pitt picks him up from prison.
And it’s not just about the money – but that’s important too, don’t get me wrong.
Mostly it’s about the thrill and the risk and about the smug feeling of superiority you get from fooling everyone else with your wits and acrobatic skills.
I assume it’s like being a liberal…except the smugness is well-deserved and not contrived.
But why would you steal a deadly poison?
That’s what I don’t get.
Stealing artwork and fancy historical shit and developing a lore around your fake persona is something I do get.
A sexy pseudonym like “Lemarc” or “Nightfox” is really really cool. And being hunted by people trying to uncover your identity in a cat and mouse game of hide and seek…
I guess it’s a bit like…
Being a Neon-Nazi named Roy Batty?
But seriously, what to do about this stolen poison?
I hope they’ve got their A-team on it.