October 14, 2018
Finally, a political platform I can get behind.
Scott Wagner, the Republican candidate for governor in Pennsylvania, threatened his opponent, incumbent Gov. Tom Wolf, a Democrat, in a Facebook Live video criticizing the negative ads against him.
“Governor Wolf, let me tell you, between now and November 6th you’d better put a catcher’s mask on your face, because I’m going to stomp all over your face with golf spikes,” Wagner said in the two-minute video, jabbing his index finger towards the camera. “I’m going to win this for the state of Pennsylvania, and we’re throwing you out of office.”
This is good.
I fully support the political platform of gaining power, making it legal to stomp your opponent’s face with golf spikes, and then doing it.
Politics has been overwhelmed by money-grubbing men of pathetic spiritual stature because it no longer presents risk. Bravery used to be a quality associated with Kingship, because to be a ruler used to mean very high stakes and a very real possibility, if not a probability, of a glorious but premature death.
This made the job unattractive to the petty, cowardly, rat-faced self-serving types, and it drew only those who loved glory more than they loved life.
A spokesman for Wagner told PennLive that his “golf spikes” comment was “not meant to be taken literally.”
“What, me, kill my political opponents? Oh, you know, I was just joking.”
Yeah, sure – just joking. Don’t worry, Wagner, we get it.
Polling has shown Wolf to be significantly ahead of Wagner. A Franklin and Marshall College Poll from September showed Wolf 22 points ahead of Wagner. The Cook Political Report has rated the race as “Likely Democrat.”
Yeah, and Hillary Clinton won in 2016.
Polls are fake.
Pennsylvania was very close though. If we win it, it won’t be by much.
If you want Golf Spike Nationalism as badly as I do, you need to get out and vote.
This Wagner fellow looks like he could totally kick that other guy’s ass – and that’s important.
I’m tired of cowards playing themselves up as leaders.
MMA duels between political rivals would be a step in the right direction, but the classic method of conflict resolution would also be good.
Make Politics Dangerous Again.