December 10, 2019
I don’t care why or how this happened, I’m just glad that it did.
A group of cowboy hat-wearing pigeons have been spotted in Las Vegas leading to concerns that someone may be gluing the accessories onto the birds.
Footage of the stetson wearing pigeons has gone viral after it was shared by local Bobby Lee with the caption ‘just another day in the neighborhood’.
The birds don’t seem to be phased by the headgear as they busily peck the ground in the empty parking lot.
However the hats, each slightly tilted, do not move as the pigeons peck around, suggesting they are glued on.
However, Mariah Rea, who owns pigeon rescue centre Lofty Hopes, wrote: ‘This is sad. Someone did this. However these are staying on is cruelty.
‘If it’s glue that’s horrible. If it’s tied on it will be tangle around their necks
‘I’m trying to get a hold of the guy who posted this so we can attempt to trap them and get the hats off. ‘
It’s not horrible. It’s beautiful and stylish.
It doesn’t matter if they were forced to wear tiny hats by evil men gluing them to their heads, because the hats look good on them all the same.
Similar to how dresses look good on women whether they are forced to wear them at gunpoint or not. You get what I’m saying?
It should be mandated by law that every pigeon must wear a hat in order to be allowed to do its “flying rat” pest routine thing. It is only fair that we get something in return for allowing them to be such a plague.
The same goes for women.
If we’re going to allow them to run wild and destroy civilization, covering everything in goo during the process, we should at least set up some unbreakable, basic ground rules.
The first is that they must do so while wearing cute dresses glued to their bodies.
The second one is that they must never, under any circumstance, attempt to take the glued dresses off.
The third one is that they must never cut their hair short.
Short-haired women are a form of terrorism.
We can add more rules later, but that’s a good start to fix the visual horrors that are so very common to witness the moment you step outside your home.
Tomboy “women” are another form of terrorism.