Prince Harry and His Pet Monkey Get Their Own Lifetime Movie

Adrian Sol
Daily Stormer
May 14, 2018

Perfect scenario for a horror movie or monster flic.

So they’re making a new movie about the romance between prince Harry and his gorilla lover Markle. I’m pretty psyched, to be honest.

I loved the scene in the prequel with the battle between Markle and the T-Rex.

I didn’t understand why Harry had a dress and long hair throughout the whole movie though. Weird artistic decision, I guess.

And the scene where they visit New York was pretty iconic as well.

You can really feel their bond here.

What wacky adventures will Harry and Markle go on next?


In Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Lifetime found the perfect couple to blend what the channel does best: pop culture biopics and happily ever after rom-coms. Not since six years ago with Prince William and so-called “commoner” Kate Middleton has such a ripe, real-life story presented itself for adaptation. In the case of the new couple, however, specific details about Markle’s identity add narrative spice to the princess fairy tale: She is a divorced American actress who happens to be biracial.

All of those points are brought up in “Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance,” a brisk and diverting two-plus hours that captures the imagined flavor of the couple’s whirlwind romance with wit and a refreshing amount of candidness about socio-political issues. Despite the romance trappings, this is where the movie leans more into the biopic side, because Markle’s very identity is political in nature. As a lifelong feminist who’s made a point to work for humanitarian causes, Markle had already set herself on a path for social justice, but once she began a relationship with Prince Harry in earnest, the political ramifications were magnified.

Okay, we got the “jungle adventure” angle… But when is she going to fight the giraffe? This is what these monster movies are about, right?

Harry’s (Murray Fraser) image as the party boy who chafes against his public duties is established early on, while Meghan (Parisa Fitz-Henley) is the actress who fights against sexism, including on the set of her USA show “Suits.” They both share a disdain of the limited roles that society has designated for them, and when they finally do meet on a blind date set up by a mutual friend, the fairy tale begins in earnest. After all, this movie is a romance first and foremost with plenty of warm and fuzzy sentiments getting heavy play in the beginning.

Based on a script by “The Royals” writers Scarlett Lacey and Terrence Coli, the movie imagines a playful dynamic between the two, in which Meghan ribs Harry to crack his princely veneer and they bond over their mutual lives in the public eye. Surprise visits overseas, encounters with giraffes and lions, nights under the stars, and deep vulnerabilities are shared. The courtship is depicted as swift and earnest, made so by having to stay behind closed doors to keep their relationship away from prying eyes.

Although the British celebrity sites have been trying to exaggerate the Royal Family’s trepidation about the sex scenes in the movie, this is a Lifetime production, and most passion is implied.

Well, they couldn’t exactly show steamy sex scenes between Harry and Markle, considering it would have potentially ran afoul of US obscenity laws concerning bestiality.

The prequel was already dangerously close to the line.

Anyway, it’s nice to see that Lifetime (owned by Jewish Disney corporation) is expanding their genre repertoire in Kaiju movies. Hopefully they give us a remake of Godzilla that doesn’t suck.