August 27, 2018
Russians hacked my booze yesterday and now I’ve got a killer hangover. Something needs to be done.
Some naive people, by this point, might be asking themselves “what else did the Russians hack?”
A better question would be “what didn’t the Russians hack?”
Because they’re hacking damn near everything. In fact, according to most analysts, over 90% of all things that happen everywhere in the universe is a result of Russian hacking.
Top Space X scientists are currently working on a FTL drive powered by Russian hacking, which would allow interstellar travel through the hacking of space and time itself.
If the very laws of physics dance in the palms of Russian hackers, why not use this force for good?
A network of Russian-linked Twitter accounts have been disseminating divisive content about Mollie Tibbetts’ death in an apparent attempt to divert attention from explosive news surrounding Donald Trump and his former associates.
You think Russian hackers merely exploited the death of Mollie Tibbertts to push their sinister agenda to prevent the destruction of America by beaner savages?
You cannot grasp the true form of their attack.
It’s quite clear, to the sagacious mind, that they actually hacked that criminal alien’s penis in order to make him kill her.
Criminal aliens would never do something like kill a white girl without being corrupted by Russian hackers.
“Da, comrade. Hack his penis.”
Almost immediately after a guilty verdict was announced in the trial of Paul Manafort, the president’s former campaign chairman convicted on eight counts of bank and tax fraud charges, there was a flurry of activity among hundreds of pro-Kremlin Twitter accounts believed to be controlled by Russian government influence operations. Those accounts began posting thousands of tweets about Ms Tibbetts, the 20-year-old University of Iowa student who had been missing for nearly five weeks.
Police had a major break in her case on Tuesday when surveillance footage led them to Cristhian Bahena Rivera, a 24-year-old suspect who brought authorities to a cornfield where they located a body believed to be Ms Tibbetts.
The discovery also coincided with groundbreaking news about Michael Cohen, the president’s former personal lawyer and “fixer” who plead guilty on Tuesday to eight counts of fraud and campaign finance violations.
There is no coincidence here. It’s all part of the plan.
As news networks scrambled to report all three major developments — two of which arrived within the same hour — the Russian accounts were pushing out stories focusing on Ms Tibbetts’ alleged murderer, according to an analysis conducted by the Alliance for Securing Democracy (ASD) and reviewed by The Independent.
God bless this Rosenberger kike for securing our democracy.
The bipartisan group, which, according to its website, “develops comprehensive strategies to defend against, deter and raise the costs on Russian and other state actors’ efforts to undermine democracy and democratic institutions”, has tracked Kremlin-oriented influence operations on Twitter since August 2017.
ASD monitors three categories of Russian-linked Twitter accounts, according to Bret Schafer, a social media analyst for the organisation. The first category is comprised of accounts believed to be operated by Russian intelligence officials or influence operations. The second includes pro-Kremlin accounts which typically promote Russian government media. The final pool of Twitter handles are “extremely active” in amplifying the first two categories, along with other pro-Russian media themes.
“Believed to be.”
They claim their analyses are based on “belief.” But of course, they’re only being coy. I’m sure they have super secret proof of all this somewhere, which they can’t reveal for fear of undermining their rigorous intelligence operation.
If Putin isn’t stopped, a lot more than our democracy is at stake.
Everything you know and love is at risk of being hacked.