August 23, 2018
Timestamped 4 u:
So Chuck Palahaniuk, the guy who wrote the book “Fight Club,” upon which the movie “Fight Club” was based, said on Joe Rogan yesterday that he reads the Daily Stormer.
“I read the Daily Stormer because Andrew Anglin cracks me up.” -Chuck Palahniuk quote (real, see above)
So when I first saw this, I was like “holy shit, the guy who wrote the book of my favorite movie, which changed my life when I saw it in the theater when I was 14, and which I don’t know what my life would have been like had I not seen it, which I have watched 100+ times since, just gave me a very nice compliment. This is a particularly meaningful moment in my life, and I’ll have to ask my lawyer, but I’m pretty sure he can’t sue me if I put this quote on the cover of my upcoming health and fitness book.”
But then approximately 17 seconds later, I remembered that I had just spent an hour and a half deliberating over whether to buy a $170 backup laptop or a $300 backup laptop, and that a famous person with a lot of big Hollywood bucks is reading this site and has never donated.
There he sits reading my site, laughing hysterically down upon me while he is quite comfortably stationed on the “richest celebrities” section of “celebritynetworth.com.”
This is a deeply shocking scandal.
Other rich and/or famous people – who I won’t ever name to anyone, because I don’t ever reveal private communications, it’s an aspect of my personal character I am extremely proud of – have actually contacted me and then not donated. People who have no idea what is the feel when you walk into a barber shop and walk out again because a buzzcut is too expensive.
I bought the more expensive laptop.
Please at least send the difference to cover that for me, buddy.
Come on now.
It is basically your fault I’m in this position. I could be making big Hollywood bucks, be on a yacht in Ibiza with a bunch of cocaine and hookers, lined up to direct Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. III. Instead, when I’m 14 years old, I buy a ticket to a PG-rated movie so I can sneak in and see your R-rated movie and WHAM – diabolical international villain, hounded and robbed by kikes, no dot com, wringing my hands over a glass of ogogoro in a cantina in Lagos that is the Platonic Form of “dank,” watching reruns of The Simpsons with a bunch of niggers in casual sportswear, pondering whether or not I can swing an extra buck-thirty for a laptop upgrade.
Bitcoin QR code (scan this at the Bitcoin ATM):
(I’m just joking, Chuck. I know you’re as relatively broke as I am. I read about the kike accountant. This is the curse of reality – suffering brings redemption. And only the suffering really even matters. Other rich and/or famous people who are better at managing their money – and don’t just trust some kike accountant to be honest with it – please send shekels. Also: I obviously have no way of knowing whether Chuck ever donated, and am just going to assume he did.)
To all our young readers: don’t donate. Seriously. Don’t send me $10 of your allowance and email me about it, it makes me feel bad. Rich old people need to be paying this shit – big time. They’re reading it and would have read better shit today than this shitty article and whatever other “worst of the week” tripe I’m going to write today if I didn’t drink all that ogogoro last night.
Also, young readers: watch Fight Club.
It is, and always will be, the greatest movie ever made.