October 29, 2018
After a few days of fake bombs that don’t explode, white supremacist Filipino homeless crackhead strippers, and a spectacularly ill-timed wignat chimpout against a Jewish penis-cutting blood-drinking ceremony, I suddenly remembered that I had heard something about a caravan a few days ago.
I don’t really remember what it was about, though.
Had the dastardly Indians attacked another wagon train heading out west?
No, that wasn’t quite it.
Geeze – maybe I’m consuming too much Jewish media?
Wait – now I remember. It was like the same thing, but instead of trying to jack our stuff with bows and arrows, they just wanted it because it was really sad that they did not have our stuff, and they would absolutely die without it, despite thousands of years of surviving without our presence in America.
Several thousand Central American migrants turned down a Mexican offer of benefits if they applied for refugee status and stayed in the country’s two southernmost states, vowing to set out before dawn Saturday to continue their long trek toward the U.S. border.
Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto announced what he called the “You are at home” plan, offering shelter, medical attention, schooling and jobs to Central Americans in Chiapas and Oaxaca states if they applied, calling it a first step toward permanent refugee status. Authorities said more than 1,700 had already applied for refugee status.
But after one of the caravan’s longest days of walking and hanging from passing trucks, the bulk of the migrants were boisterous Friday evening in their refusal to accept anything less than safe passage to the U.S. border.
I guess the poverty that they are fleeing from is so intense that even Mexican shelter, medical care, education and jobs cannot make them un-poor again.
That must be really frightening.
Homeland Security Spokesperson Katie Waldman said migrants seeking entry to the U.S. are essentially allowed in if they claim to have “credible fear” of unjustifiable persecution in their countries of origin.
Waldman said, “I can you tell you with near assurance that if you say the magic words, ‘I’m scared,’ we let you into the country.”
Migrants from Mexico and South America have been coached by left-wing lawyers on how to best obtain entry to the U.S. via asylum request.
“We’re seeing asylum claims skyrocket,” said Waldman. “Before 2013, one out of every 100 arriving aliens claimed credible fear, now it’s one out of every ten. Central America isn’t 100 times — ten times — more dangerous or economically unstable than it was five years ago.”
“These people know our immigration laws better than our own members of Congress,” added Waldman.
It would seem that a more advanced form of parasite has taught them to give up spears and bows and arrows, and move on to legal fraud and making sad faces for gibs.