June 27, 2018
Will the tranny employees make up for the crack hobos? Only time will tell.
After pulling off the gutsy move of transforming their hipster coffee chain into homeless shelters, Starbucks had to know that their business would suffer for it, at least in the short term.
Indeed, they had to announce that they would close some of their locations as their stocks dropped by a huge margin.
But fear not, as the Jews running Starbucks had a plan to win back the favor of the hipster faggot crowd.
In one word: trannies.
Starbucks has announced plans to offer comprehensive care for transgender employees, covering several procedures that are usually excluded by insurers.
I guess their normal employees, typically broke college students, weren’t too keen in having their job description changed to “crack nigger management clerks.”
So Starbucks had to get creative to both get some willing employees, and win back the soy-infused social justice demographic.
Trannies are the perfect solution.
While trannies are just as revolting as crack niggers (more tbh), you actually get social signaling points for pretending to tolerate them.
In the new plan announced on Monday, Starbucks said that in addition to covering bottom surgery, they will now cover all other medical steps in a person’s transition.
This will cover several other procedures that were previously considered cosmetic – which can often be hard to obtain as insurers typically refuse to cover them.
Starbucks is going to pay for the whole thing. The Jew coffee chain will cut their employee’s dicks off, give them fake titties, shave off the bones in their face and give them hormones to turn them into full-spectrum monstrosities.
This is peak progressiveness.
The international coffee chain will now cover procedures including top surgeries in the form of breast reduction or augmentation, hair removal or transplants and facial feminisation surgery.
As well as covering all gender-confirming surgeries, the coffee chain will also help trans employees find appropriate doctors and healthcare providers.
Yes, “doctors and healthcare providers.” For “penile removal.”
These are better known as “chop shops.”
What you can expect in one of those fine establishments.
Basically, it would appear as if these incentives are meant to both attract more tranny employees and demonstrate to shitlibs that they’re back at the forefront of the social signalling avant-guarde.
If all goes to plan, and every Starbucks franchise is staffed exclusively by deranged trannies, the crackhead niggers should be so put off and disgusted that they’ll avoid them in spite of the free bathrooms.
Maaynn… I ain’t gettin’ near dem crazy transgenderin’ crackas. I ain’t wanna catch whatever dey got.
Soon, you’ll be able to order a mocha-latte pre-spiked with estrogen hormones at any Starbucks location. Half of the tables will be replaced with dilation stations where glorified eunuchs can stretch out their gashes.
I’m sure this will be great for Starbuck’s stock.