November 19, 2018
I do a classic meme face whenever I see a headline about how women/faggots/POCs/wtvr are “trolling the trolls.”
Such was the case when this headline came across my feed (I literally made that face at my screen, as I always do in such cases).
So my first lol was at the fact that “being dicked down” is now apparently a term being used by empowered feminists to describe their sexual encounters.
Having read a whole lot of feminist theory – way more than any millennial feminist, I assure you – one of their core ideological pillars is that historically a female is an “object” who has been acted on by an “objectifier.” This is called “instrumentality” by influential Jewish feminist Martha Nussbaum.
There is virtually nothing more indicative of instrumentality – or any of the other key factors of the feminist notion of “objectification” – than viewing a sexual encounter as “being dicked down.”
Then I looked at the header image a little bit closer, scrolled down to view the video, and realized that the originator of this trend was an Asian female.
And then I double-lol’d.
But let’s hear how this is video tutorial trend is “seriously pissing off right-wing Twitter.”
The internet is full of weird and wonderful content, but the ‘dick appointment make-up tutorial’ ranks highlight on the list of things I a) never knew I needed and b) am completely obsessed with. Created by sex-positive YouTube beauty bloggers, these handy and often hilarious videos teach us how to nail a look that’s glamorous, low-maintenance and, most importantly, won’t slide off your face while you’re being dicked down. It’s a simple, tongue-in-cheek trend built by women, and it’s seriously pissing off right-wing Twitter; one case in point is a now-viral tweet from user @Rooshv, who complained: “YouTube is handing out strikes to right-wing creators like Halloween candy, while ‘dick appointment tutorial’ closes in on 1 million views.”
YouTube is handing out strikes to right-wing creators like Halloween candy while "Dick appointment makeup tutorial" closes in on 1 million views pic.twitter.com/ethwpjP7dI
— Roosh (@rooshv) November 5, 2018
Oh, okay. So people are mad about the fact that they are getting banned for political content while pornographic videos are allowed.
Obviously, that doesn’t have anything at all to do with women doing “dick appointment makeup tutorials” specifically – anyone on the far-right is going to lol at that; using a corporate monopoly to silence the speech of people you disagree with via multiple multi-million dollar lobbying groups isn’t “trolling.”
“Trolling” is specifically a term which refers to getting under someone’s skin – using emotional and psychological manipulation to get someone to go into an emotional rage or breakdown, and then laughing about it. It is something that can be done by a single individual.
An example of good trolling is when weev used open printer ports to print off Nazi fliers on a bunch of university campuses, and had a bunch of Jews on TV crying, literally. Or when this writer posted fake KKK images on Twitter, claiming that the Klan was holding rallies on Mizzou campus, and was effectively able to shut down the entire university with tweets.
Lobbying a corporate monopoly into censoring someone is no more “trolling” than breaking into someone’s home and beating them with a baseball bat while they’re sleeping.
These people wouldn’t say “haha, look at how this Honduran gang really trolled the Alt-Right snowflakes by breaking into Roosh V’s house at night and breaking all of his ribs by beating him with bats – look at these pictures of him in the hospital, OMG the Alt-Right is so mad about this, hahahaha.”
Or maybe they would say that. And do that.
But it wouldn’t be trolling.
Note: To be fair, calling someone whose ribs you just broke with a baseball bat a "triggered snowflake" for being in the hospital with broken ribs could potentially be a successful troll, if you were able to get people to respond to that bait. We'll just have to wait and see how that plays out when they start actually doing that.
The only aspect of this “dicked down makeup tutorial” situation that could maybe be considered troll-like is stating that the Alt-Right has “the belief that there’s some kind of censorship double standard at play,” while directly linking to a paper by Data & Society which explicitly states that there is a kind of censorship double standard at play. But I don’t think there is any self-awareness or active intent there, and the response is only “yawn, more fake news.”
No Alt-Right snowflakes are triggered by “these conspiracy theorists think we’re censoring them because we’re censoring them.” The best you’re going to get from that is a furrowed brow and a mumbled “fucking kikes” as a cigarette is lit with another cigarette.
Furthermore, these people have trolled their own selves by letting some random gook fuckdoll enter “getting dicked down” and “dick appointments” into the feminist lexicon. That’s not a full-on “front-hole” own goal, but it’s in the same league.
It is a well-known and established fact of internet history that the only person who ever successfully trolled the Alt-Right was Sargon of Akkad, when he spammed any Alt-Right account that made fun of him with interracial gay pornography. However, in that particular situation, Sargon was in a complete state of emotional breakdown due to having been trolled, and though his reverse-troll was successful in that people were actually bothered by the imagery of gay pornography, his own brand is now forever tainted with “one time this guy got so mad on the internet that he spent 48 hours spamming gay porno.”
Thus whatever lulz Sargon created were trumped by the lulz of what creating those lulz did to his brand.
The Iron Law of the internet is that the only thing that can ever defeat lulz is bigger lulz.