November 28, 2018
Florida Man is back in the news!
This time, the everyman’s hero decided to take a stand against the useless American woman.
As we all know, one of the easiest recipes known to man is the baked potato recipe. All you need for the recipe to work is a potato, some butter (optional), some salt and a microwave.
But modern women are so useless that they can’t even get this neolithic recipe right.
Florida Man finally had enough.
Deputies have arrested a man accused of stabbing a woman in the head over an undercooked baked potato.
According to Fox 30, Nassau County deputies arrested 36-year-old Kenneth David Crumpton Jr., charging him with aggravated battery.
According to an arrest report obtained by Fox 30, the victim told a witness that Crumpton stabbed her in the head with a fork after they got into an argument over a baked potato.
Crumpton disputed the incident, saying he threw the fork, and it “glanced off her head.”
Deputies said the victim had multiple stab wounds and visible blood on her head. However, she reportedly refused treatment.
Open and shut case here, fellas.
Someone had to get that bitch into line, and only Florida Man was willing to step up to the plate.
For that, he has our thanks… yet again.
Join us again time for the next installment of Florida Man’s Adventures!