November 10, 2019
Wait – fighting against demons is an actual career path? I trained for this since 1993… Where do I sign up?
There’s no doubt that America is beset by demons. You just need to watch five minutes of television to realize that.
What is surprising, however, is that the Catholic Church is actually doing something about it. Didn’t they get the memo that the Anti-Pope doesn’t believe in hell, and thus presumably doesn’t believe in demons either?
Either way, the Catholic Church in America is apparently building up an army of “spiritual warriors” to fight off the demonic invasion.
They arrive with a crucifix, a book of prayers, holy water and a conviction that the Holy Spirit is at their side.
Infrequently summoned for decades, Catholic exorcists say they are now being beckoned across Minnesota and the nation, as pleas from the faithful to “cast out the devil” are on the rise.
“Sometimes they hear voices in their heads,” said Bishop Andrew Cozzens of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. “They have reactions they don’t understand. Fits of rage. Sometimes it’s a depression they just can’t shake and psychologists can’t help.”
Exorcism, often considered a relic of the Dark Ages, is making a 21st-century comeback. Catholic dioceses, including in St. Cloud and Winona-Rochester, say they now are sending their exorcists to a new U.S. institute that trains spiritual warriors. No official data are available, but Catholic leaders say there are more Catholic exorcists in the United States today than at any time in recent memory.
How do you train spiritual warriors?
I sure hope it involves sawn-off, double-barreled shotguns. My decades of demon-fighting experience has shown me that is the weapon of choice when confronting the forces of hell.
Power armor is optional, but strongly recommended.
“When I first was appointed as exorcist in 2005, I knew of only a dozen exorcists in the United States,” said the Rev. Vincent Lampert, exorcist of the Archdiocese of Indianapolis and one of a handful of American exorcists public about their work. “Today I’d say there are at least 175 — and more each year.”
Yeah, here’s a sneak peak of America’s near future:
Basically, it’s the same story as in DOOM, but replace the UAC with the Jews.
Apologies for the boomer reference.
But psychologists warn that even well-intentioned treatment of traumatized people can aggravate the situation. They urge individuals to focus on evidence-based interventions.
“There are treatments for trauma supported by strong scientific evidence, but exorcism is not among them,” said University of Minnesota psychology Prof. Patricia Frazier.
Nigga, you ask for evidence. But did you ever watch “The Exorcist?”
That’s all the evidence you need.
I rest my case.
The exorcist from the Diocese of Winona-Rochester said he assisted at an exorcism of a young mother who had been consulting with a medium. He believes such experiments opened the door to evil.
“She screamed and her eyes rolled back white,” he recalled.
Cozzens, who is not the archdiocese exorcist but who has attended sessions, said the archdiocese enlists the support of four special prayer teams to pray for individuals it believes have the lesser forms of demonic influence.
“We’ve found in the past 10 years an increased need,” Cozzens said.
I’ll bet you did.
I don’t know if demonic possession is real or not. But if it’s real, doing all this gay shit, allowing satanic Jews to control everything and abandoning all of our traditions and values would definitely do the trick as far as inviting demons to haunt our entire society.
If demons are real, then America’s air is probably supersaturated with them, to the point where you’re inhaling demonic ectoplasm with every breath you take as you stroll through the God-forsaken streets of a city like New York or Los Angeles.
I’ll tell you what, we’re gonna need a lot more than 175 exorcists to clean up this country. And they’ll need to be armed with a lot more than prayers and crucifixes.
I recommend a BFG-9000.