August 11, 2018
The wars of the future will be fought not with lead and steel, but with subterfuge and soy.
Beans, beans they’re good for…being stuck at sea. A US cargo ship carrying $20 million worth of soybeans has been circling in the ocean for a month because it was unlucky to arrive a few hours after tariffs kicked in.
The Peak Pegasus cargo ship, owned by JPMorgan Asset Management, left Seattle for a journey to China on June 8.
After a long trip across the globe, the 750-foot-long bulk carrier fell short, arriving five hours after Beijing’s tariffs on US goods kicked in on July 6. As a result, it has now found itself drifting in circles in the Yellow Sea at a speed of 0.1 knots.
If only it had bean there just a bit sooner.
The ship’s failed race to the finish line is costing the owner of the cargo – agricultural commodity trading house Louis Dreyfus – an astronomical amount of money, as it is paying an estimated $12,500 a day to continue to charter the ship, the Guardian reported. That means it has so far dished out some $400,000 in extra costs.
Could it be the long-lost kike descendent of the same Dreyfus??
The soybean saga comes after Beijing imposed duties on $34 billion in US goods, in a tit-for-tat response to Donald Trump’s imposing of tariffs on Chinese goods. The dispute escalated on Wednesday, with Washington announcing that a new $16 billion wave of tariffs would take effect August 23. Responding to that announcement, China called the move a “very unreasonable practice” and imposed 25 percent tariffs on another 333 US products, also scheduled to take effect on August 23.
Now here’s the woke take on what really happened.
Trump wisely decided to rid the US of the biological bomb that is soy and unload it on the US’ new mortal enemies: the Chinese.
Any nation forced to consume soy will not be able to win in a military conflict, because of the hugely detrimental effects of soy on the body. We’ve…already started seeing the results in America and the West.
Trump wisely decided to send the Devil’s bean eastward to the China-devils.
But he met his match in Emperor Xi, who also understood that his subjects were already eating way too much soy as it was.
He closed the gates at the last minute.
Both sides know that whoever can force the other side to consume more soy faster will win this trade/economic/military showdown.
This is a serious escalation folks. I shudder just thinking about my children’s future. If Trump wins, we will ban soy in our country forever and execute the farmers who complain because they’re just Mexican-hiring niggers anyway. If we lose, my son will tell me that he wants to vote for a woman politician before he chops his dick off.
The stakes couldn’t be higher, folks.