August 2, 2018
What a heist!
Seriously, they used a speed boat, just like in the movie!
Police in Sweden have launched a manhunt after thieves swiped some of the country’s crown jewels from a cathedral and escaped by speedboat.
Two priceless crowns and an orb belonging to a 17th Century king and queen were taken at around midday on Tuesday in Strängnäs, near Stockholm.
Witnesses said they saw two men running from the cathedral, which was open to the public and hosting a lunch fair.
They were seen motoring off into Lake Malaren, and have not been seen since.
Police have launched a huge search operation, but currently have no suspects.
“It’s 1-0 to them right now,” police spokesperson Thomas Agnevik told Swedish media. “It is not possible to put an economic value on this, it is invaluable items of national interest.”
Now, let’s do a thought experiment.
Do you think that these guys can actually sell the crown jewels of a nation on the open market? The black market?
I guess some rich millionaire could be approached and offered the jewels for a reasonable price as kind of a vanity purchase…that he’d never be able to show off to his friends because he’d face arrest.
No, clearly the men who rescued the jewels were actual patriots of Sweden who knew that the jewels were several years away from being captured by Moslems and smelted down to make minarets. The plans to blow up the Swedish parliament to make way for the Great Northern Mosque have already been made.
They will probably be voted on within the year in the Swedish parliament. The politicians will unanimously vote to abolish themselves, their parliament and their own nation right before they approve funds for the construction of said mosque.
There’s really no other explanation for this story other than patriotic Swedes trying to preserve their countries relics before either the Moslems or the cat-ladies get to them…no seriously, they’re smelting down their own history.
Just when you think Sweden has hit rock bottom.
Frankly, the Crown Jewels were not safe in the hands of the Swedish government.
I trust literal thieves more, because they don’t have a political agenda. They might actually realize that what they’ve got is valuable and worth preserving. At the very least, they’ve got the mercantile interest at play.
We need to get everything Swedish far far away from the Swedish government ASAP.
And we need to find the genius who masterminded this heist as well.