There’s Never Been a Better Time to Start Getting Into Baseball

Roy Batty
Daily Stormer
October 29, 2018

Are you aware of how good the sport of baseball, the sport of the stick and the ball and the bases, has gotten in the last 24 hours?


Ann, who everyone knows is an avid fan of baseball, has noticed.

I too am now a fan of baseball. I even, vaguely, know what the rules of baseball are.

Here, let me explain it to you if you don’t know:

  1. The man is given a stick (I believe the official term is “bat”) and a helmet.
  2. He stands over the white pillow, behind the guy wearing a cage on his face and samurai-style armor like in my Chinese cartoons.
  3. Another man then aggressively mounts the samurai man from behind, as a sign of dominance and sportsmanship

After establishing the afterparty location through the use of cryptic Free Mason-style hand signs…

Applebees for bottomless shrimp and beer at 8?

Sure, “catch” you there.

…the game can then begin.

The “pitcher” then attempts to “catch” the other team’s player with his red and white Pokeball.

Using only a stick, the first man must defend himself and then try to redirect the ball at a player on the other team, to catch him instead.

First, however, it helps to land a few direct hits and get the other guy close to fainting, if you want to have a chance catching him with your Pokeball.

But the other team has gloves, so they can fend off your Pokeball drive most times. And then throw it back to their other teammates a few times, because they, presumably, are afraid of holding onto the ball for too long, lest it activate like a bomb in their hands.

Yeah, just like a bomb. Bombs go hand in hand with mass shootings. Synagogues are targets for mass shootings, apparently. We don’t want to be thinking about those right now.



All in all, it is a baffling game, especially for newcomers. It is strange that Ann would become so interested in it.

And Donald Trump as well?

But then, it is an important American pastime.

I think now is a good time to show the rest of America how important it is that we sit up and take notice of what’s happening in the world of baseball right now. 

We should be having a national conversation about baseball rn.