October 14, 2019
“Chief Moneybags” Elizabeth Warren has $12 million in assets.
Bernie has only $2 million, which is just what retirement experts say two people (him and his wife) need to retire and prepare for a safe and comfortable middle class death that doesn’t involve getting beat up by black people in an old folks’ home.
Furthermore, the Chief says she’s a boney old capitalist.
Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders – the self-proclaimed Democratic socialist whose standing in the 2020 primary has become threatened by Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s surge in the Democratic primary with progressive voters – is seeking to cut into the support of his rival by dismissing her as a “capitalist.”
“There are differences between Elizabeth and myself,” Sanders said during an interview Sunday on ABC’s “This Week.” “Elizabeth I think, as you know, has said that she is a capitalist through her bones. I’m not.”
The comments come amid a rise in socialism in the Democratic Party, as candidates become more willing to openly embrace socialism over capitalism. It also follows polling showing that Democrats now view socialism more positively than they do capitalism.
Last year, when asked if she was a capitalist, Warren reportedly said, “I am a capitalist to my bones.”
Sanders explained he is not a capitalist because he “will not tolerate for one second the kind of greed and corruption and income and wealth inequality and so much suffering that is going on in this country today, which is unnecessary.”
For those of you who are millennials and don’t really understand what is going on here because you have a short attention span, let me just break this down for you in terms I know you’ll understand.
Elizabeth Warren is basically Dark Paw, the villain who attacked the Paw Paw Bears in order to attempt to break up their unions and force them to work in unsafe and unsanitary conditions WITHOUT HEALTHCARE OR EVEN DENTAL.
The absolute last thing America needs is another Dark Paw like Chief Moneybags Elizabeth Warren.
Bernie Sanders, on the other hand – he’s like Gargamel from the Smurfs.
Wait no, sorry.
He might look like Gargamel, but actually he’s Papa Smurf.
For real, the Smurfs were created by the French, and his looks and his role in that community are a totally on purpose thing.
He’s a REAL Jewish communist who worked his entire life to collectivize Smurfs’ Village in the name of workers’ rights, including healthcare and dental and free college and the abolishment of private property.
So, what’ll it be, kids?
This must be your decision.
And it must be final.
NOTE: BERNIE WILL NEVER DIE, WE HAVE A CYBORG COMMUNIST AGENDA
Do not worry about the fact that Bernie is almost dead and having heart attacks and so on. That doesn’t matter. Because as soon as communism is established and your villages are collectivized, we will be involved in a period of rapid technological advancement. A kind of “great leap forward,” if you will. This will lead to new technologies which will allow us to turn Comrade Bernie into Chairman Cyborg, and he will live forever as our fearless robotic leader.
For more information on this agenda, please read “A Cyborg Manifesto” by Donna Haraway.
“The cyborg does not dream of community on the model of the organic family, this time without the oedipal project. The cyborg would not recognize the Garden of Eden; it is not made of mud and cannot dream of returning to dust.” -Donna Haraway, A Cyborg Manifesto (1984)