May 22, 2019
After weeks of speculation and wide-open borders, Trump seems to have made a DHS decision of some import and settled on a wop who hates him.
President Trump is expected to name Kenneth T. Cuccinelli II, a former attorney general of Virginia and an immigration hard-liner, as his choice to coordinate the administration’s immigration policies, a White House official confirmed on Tuesday.
The specifics of the role — including the title and the scope of duties — are still being hashed out, according to the official. But Mr. Cuccinelli is expected to be based in the Department of Homeland Security, not in the White House.
Mr. Cuccinelli served as attorney general from 2010 to 2014, running unsuccessfully for governor of Virginia in 2013. He is a frequent presence on cable news, which Mr. Trump consumes with gusto. He is aligned with Mr. Trump on issues related to border security, though he caught the president’s attention during the 2016 presidential primaries, when he led the effort to strip Mr. Trump of delegates on behalf of an opponent, Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, a person close to the president said.
Another great pick.
Cuccinelli’s last job was trying to steal Donald Trump’s delegates and hand them over to Ted Cruz – who, in retrospect, would have probably done more to secure the borders, despite being a Cuban and a Canadian and a Zodiac killer.
Those were good times.
It seems that the best credentials you need to serve in the Trump White House are having virulently opposed Trump sometime during your career. MAGA enthusiasts need not apply.
That being said, mayhaps Cuccinelli and Ted Cruz knew something that we didn’t.
Maybe they were trying to protect us from Blognald Barugf and we, instead, mocked them for it. Neo-Nazi White Supremacist Christian Arabs even booed the man for sticking up for the honor of Israel… for shame.
Now, there was a lot of talk about Kris Kobach possibly getting the job – that is, Ann Coulter was trying to drum him up and get Trump to throw his base a bone. Ann, as you know, has been really digging the new approach that Trump decided to take with his presidency.
Trump in PA: Okay, I totally betrayed you, did nothing on immigration, just tax cuts and embassy move. But vote for me in 2020 and, NEXT time, I promise, I won't betray you!
— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) May 21, 2019
But in the end, the Kobach Hail Mary did not come to pass.
Kobach, realizing that he had hookers to plow and lines of cocaine to snort, decided to self-sabotage his non-existent chances of getting the “Immigration Czar” job by giving Trump a 10-point list of demands.
- Hookers and blow on the White House credit card
- The good blow, none of that weak shit coming out of Venezuela
- Access to the White House G-6 plane cuz playa gotta jet, ain’t got no patience for economy seats and traffic jams
- Weekends off because he’s a family man and need to spend time with the kids
- Highest pay level status
- Totally VIP access to the Oval Office
- Rights to reserve the lawn and garden for keggers with the boys
- A 7-man posse on the White House’s payroll
- An ostrich jacket and a bitchin’ hat with a white feather in it
- The right to never have to consult with or talk to Jared… ever
Kobach no doubt had read the Stormer’s analysis of how the White House was run by Charles and Jared, and that everyone lived in fear of Trump’s boomer tantrums, so he knew that he would be walking into a complete dumpster fire and finally decided that he just didn’t need that grief in his life.
So he came up with a list of demands that would disqualify him. Smart move. Trump likes to fly brown migrants around the country to their city of choice on the taxpayer’s dime – he has no time for immigration hardliner grifters like Kobach who expect to be comped.
But for serious: Cuccinelli is a horrible pick who will do nothing for the border, and that’s why he was picked.
He was also picked because he’s done a good job talking up a game on Fox News, and because he doesn’t really have anything to lose, because no one knows who he is.
Granted, we don’t know what he’ll do because he’s never had a high-level government position before, but anyone who was a Cruz shill doesn’t have any belief in anything. It is pure lunacy that Trump now appears to hire people based on the fact that they opposed him during the election.
Andrew Anglin contributed to this report.