December 13, 2019
Well that wasn’t much of a contest at all, was it?
Boris Johnson will return to Downing Street with a big majority after the Conservatives swept aside Labour in its traditional heartlands.
With just a handful of seats left to declare in the general election, the BBC forecasts a Tory majority of 78.
The prime minister said it would give him a mandate to “get Brexit done” and take the UK out of the EU next month.
Jeremy Corbyn said Labour had a “very disappointing night” and he would not fight a future election.
The BBC forecast suggests the Tories will get 364 MPs, Labour 203, the SNP 48, the Lib Dems 12, Plaid Cymru four, the Greens one, and the Brexit Party none.
That means the Conservatives will have their biggest majority at Westminster since Margaret Thatcher’s 1987 election victory.
Labour, which has lost seats across the North, Midlands and Wales in places which backed Brexit in 2016, is facing its worst defeat since 1935.
This is a second Brexit referendum. That’s why the margin is so serious.
Either that or Jews manipulated the vote to try to get Jeremy Corbyn removed as leader of Labour, due to his promise to “force the kikes back into the camps, and then back into the soap dispensers where they belong.”
He was actually talking about making not only moisturizing body wash, but also dish soap and laundry detergent out of the Jews.
Labour’s official slogan for the election was “your colors are safe with Labour,” a play on Corbyn’s plan to use communism to transfer massive wealth to nonwhites as well as his plan to make Jews into Tide Pods.
The head of the British Orthodox rabbis, Ephraim Mirvis, exclaimed before the election “my entire family was made into moisturizing body wash, but not even Adolf Hitler himself dared make us into laundry detergent.”
Boris accepted his victory while looking unkempt and inebriated.
Reporters reported that he “looked like he was on acid” while craning his head to and fro.
Even though the entire thing was about Brexit, the walking lampshades in the Jewish Labour Movement are claiming – to the shock of the entire earth – that it is all about them.
These Jews are calling for Corbyn to resign immediately.
The Jewish Labour Movement, which has been fiercely critical of Mr Corbyn’s handling of anti-semitism, said voters had “rejected” the party and pointed the finger “squarely” at the man at its head.
Labour suffered its worst general election result in more than 80 years on Thursday night, but while Mr Corbyn has vowed not to fight another national contest, he has pledged to to stay on during a “period of reflection”.
However, the JLM – who refused to fully campaign for the party in the run-up to the vote – urged the leadership to respond quickly to the bruising at the hands of voters.
“Labour’s failure in this election lies squarely with the Party’s leadership,” the group said in a statement.
“Because of the public’s rejection of Corbyn as Prime Minister, the confused position on Brexit, or its total failure to tackle anti-Jewish racism, the Party must truly listen.”
Experts in Jewish studies say that this is the first time in history that Jews have made an issue completely about themselves.
“The Jews are a modest race of international financiers, diamond merchants and pornographers, who rarely make themselves known in politics; it is historically unprecedented for them to take center stage in trying to destroy a political figure who complained about them slaughtering children in Palestine,” said one expert on the Jews, who declined to be named for fear of being assassinated by the Mossad.
And so thus ends an era of British politics, as a new and even more boring age begins.