October 31, 2019
TBH, it’s pretty sad how these kids became Nazgûl later on
As a stupid goy living under the fart of Damocles, seeing all these smarter goyim willing to not go to work to save the world from cow farts reassures me.
It’s good to know that someone, somewhere is trying to save me.
More than 1000 British professors have signed a letter requesting more time off from teaching so they can tackle climate change and “save all life on our planet.”
“Humanity stands at the brink of a precipice. If we do not urgently address climate breakdown and the ecological crisis, the very future of life on earth is in question,” begins the open letter published this week by the Times Higher Education magazine and addressed to vice-chancellors, Universities UK and UK Research and Innovation.
Some of the signers hail from the nation’s leading institutions, including Oxford, Cambridge, Durham, and Bristol universities, as well as the London School of Economics and Imperial College London.
All those asteroids and super volcanoes couldn’t destroy all life on earth.
But cow farts will.
You know it’s true because people with degrees said so.
The academics note that they are particularly well suited to the task of saving the world from global warming, given their expertise and prestige among the common people.
“Universities are the bastions of wisdom and knowledge that are urgently needed to combat the climate crisis,” they insist. “Now is the time to increase our efforts.”
Occasionally straying into hyperbole and remarkably unscientific language, the letter asserts that “the crisis is at our doorstep” and that humanity now faces “an even greater challenge” than going to the moon in the 1960s.
“We ask you to support scientists, academics and students to help address the climate emergency through a series of new programmes, fellowships, sabbaticals and voluntary placements to help the critical efforts needed to save all life on our planet,” the letter pleads.
I don’t think these people have quite as much prestige as they think they do…
To back up their request, the academics assert that the “impacts of climate change are being felt more rapidly than predicted, with Himalayan glaciers melting twice as fast as expected and the Arctic warming to a full 4°C above average.”
Moreover, thawing permafrost soil “is releasing unprecedented amounts of methane and carbon dioxide into the atmosphere,” they insist, and “2018 was the world’s fourth hottest year on record.”
Not only that, “climate crisis-related disasters are happening at a rate of one a week,” they assert, and “the risk we face is that impacts may soon run away from us with changes too swift and unpredictable to mitigate.”
Fun fact: every single apocalyptic prophecy these people have predicted in the past half a century or so didn’t happen.
Also, notice the way they just started saying that every natural disaster is somehow caused by “climate change,” which is completely insane, since even if cow farts were actually changing the weather, tying that to specific events would be impossible.
Earlier this month, another group of academics published an essay urging institutions of higher learning to encourage climate scientists to cry in order to relieve some of the stress associated with climate trauma.
“Academic institutes must allow environmental scientists to grieve well and thus emerge stronger from traumatic experiences to discover new insights about our rapidly changing world,” wrote a team of British researchers in the journal Science.
“When you spend your life studying places like the Great Barrier Reef or the Arctic ice caps, and then watch them bleach into rubble fields or melt into the sea, it hits you really hard,” they stated.
These are serious people that you can trust, you stupid goyim.
In requesting space for climate scientists, the authors compare them to those who work in disaster relief and the military.
“In these fields, well defined organizational structures and active strategies exist for employees to anticipate and manage their emotional distress,” they declare.
The knowledge that somewhere some cow just farted is just as bad as getting blown up with an IED.
And if you don’t think that’s true, just look at this:
Time to start eating maggots.