October 18, 2018
VICE News has just released a major patch for RacistWitchhunt.exe, the core of your system’s racist witch hunt protocol.
This patch contains all of the latest updates on new forms of racism, which characters need to be hunting down and destroying people’s lives over.
The new updates include that it is now racist to do the following:
- Talk to black people about rap music
- Talk to black people about the film “Black Panther”
- Use slang with a black person
- Give a black person a cool handshake
- Ask a black person why he isn’t dancing
- Tell black people that they’re not really black because they don’t listen to rap (update to DifferentThanOtherBlacks.dat)
- Touch a black woman’s hair
- Talk to black people about their hair
- Ask why black people sound like monkeys when they laugh (full rewrite of MonkeyLaugh.dat)
- Ask black people to record their voice with black attitude
Go to VICE or your preferred media repository of your choosing and download and install these critical updates immediately for the security of your system.