December 14, 2019
Canada has a huge problem. Some Canadians, in spite of weed president Trudeau’s best efforts, still remain sober. This must change.
Smoking weed turns you into a passive, submissive and lazy person. In other words, a perfect embodiment of Canadian values – according to the Canadian government, at least.
After all, people high on weed rarely say or do anything offensive, nor do they scrutinize what the powers that be are up to very closely (unless it has to do with alien conspiracy theories or drug control laws or whatever).
A stoned population is very compatible with the creation of a cosmopolitan, rootless liberal social order.
It’s actually pretty amazing the Democrats aren’t pushing harder to have weed sold in every 7-Eleven in America.
The Ontario government has announced steps to allow more cannabis retail stores to open in January.
In a news release issued Thursday, Attorney General Doug Downey said that opening the cannabis market in Ontario as “responsibly” as possible has always been the government’s “number one priority.”
“We have said all along that opening more legal stores is the most effective way to combat the illicit market, protect our kids and keep our communities safe.”
How the hell is selling weed legally supposed to combat the illicit market and protect our kids? Are the legal weed stores going to be selling it to kids?
So what difference will it make? None at all – kids will get it illicitly, just as they already are, it will just be easier.
It’ll make it more socially acceptable for adults to buy and smoke it everywhere, ensuring that consumption of weed goes through the roof and the population remains stoned.
Experts believe that the next plan will be to start selling weed at Tim Hortons, ensuring no Canadian goes without.
The Canadian government is really working hard to make sure the population embodies the country’s “passive loser” persona.
In order to achieve these goals, the government said that it will eliminate the temporary cap on the number of private stores and cancel the pre-qualification requirements for prospective retailers.
The Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario (AGCO) said it will begin accepting applications under the new guidelines on Jan. 6 followed by store authorization applications on Mar. 2.
“Store applications from this open application process are expected to be issued beginning in April, at an initial rate of approximately 20 [stores] per month,” the release reads.
Retail operators would be allowed to own a maximum of 30 cannabis stores in 2020, increasing to a total of 75 by Sept. 2021.
The changes also affect licensed producers (LP) in the cannabis sector. LP’s will now be able to open up a storefront at one of their facilities.
Under the new rules, retailers will also be permitted to sell cannabis-related items like magazines and cookbooks.
The lottery system implemented by the Ford government was no stranger to criticism. In the first year of legalization, only 24 legal cannabis stores opened their doors which cannabis activists said was frustrating.
“It’s been kind of impossible to get a license because of the lottery,” The Friendly Stranger founder Robin Ellins said, speaking to CP24.
“It really was a lottery and those ‘winners’ are real winners of a lottery.”
Downey addressed the criticism over the lottery system earlier today speaking to CP24.
“We wanted to go at a pace so that we could actually make sure the supply was there and that was part of the constraint,” Downey said.
“Now that the federal supply has been solved, that issue, we’re now in a position to go much wider and faster.”
WIDER and FASTER.
Canada 2070: every city block is host to both a Tim Hortons coffee shop and a state-sponsored weed distribution center, which delivers the drug directly to people’s doors – ensuring no one has to actually leave the house.
Canadian government-sponsored weed store. This is not a photoshop.
In 2070, Canadian children from poor backgrounds will enjoy school-sponsored cannabis, along with their sponsored breakfasts. No child will have to go weed-free, no matter how impoverished.
In 2070, all bars and restaurants will have weed-smoking sections, mandated by law. Hospitals will circulate marijuana smoke through the ventilation system – to help patients with the pain, and improve their enjoyment of shitty Canadian sitcoms.
This is what you call progress.