Weirdo Cyborg Magician Plans to Insert 27th Magnet in Body

Roy Batty
Daily Stormer
September 8, 2019

I suppose there is going to have to be a lot of test dummies and experiments gone wrong along the way before we start having actual functioning cyborgs in our society.

These amateur enthusiasts who shove magnets into their bodies are the pioneers that no one asked for, but who will, hopefully (but not likely) be remembered for their sacrifices when we finally start having measurable success in the field of human augmentation.

Stat News:

At a biohacker conference convened here the other day, panelists took to the stage, settled into their chairs, and launched into their slide decks. Not Anastasia Synn.

With Frank Sinatra crooning “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” over the loudspeakers, Synn pulled out a giant needle and twisted it deeper and deeper into her left forearm as the music played on. It was only after finishing her routine, capped off by loud applause from the crowd of biohackers, that Synn sat down for a fireside chat about her work as a “cyborg magician.”

Synn has 26 microchips and magnets implanted throughout her body. Unlike many biohackers who experiment purely out of personal interest, Synn does it for her magic career. These days, she’s doing less performing on stage and spending more time designing bodily implants for other magicians.

A niche market to be sure. This woman claims she has 26 magnets and chips in her body.

Contrary to what lolbergs and liberal dum-dums say, very few technologies get adopted because the market decided that it’s time for them to add new products to the shelves of stores.

There is usually a state-sponsored push for the adoption of a technology or new invention that is then piggy-backed on by the private sector. The entirety of the modern world was invented for mostly military purposes and then repurposed for civilian use. Most ground-breaking technology has a hump of sorts that needs to be crossed before any profits can be made by cashing out on it. Very few, if any, companies actually research ground-breaking new tech on their own. They let government agencies do it for them, and then they hire the underpaid employees to replicate the already-developed tech for them and to make a killing off it.

All this is to say that if we want cyborgs running around like in the video games, there is a very low chance of a David Sarif figure getting the tech off the ground, only profiting off it once it’s been developed.

And the only way that the government will be interested in researching “cyborg tech” is if it can get something out of it militarily, politically or, I suppose, socially. I can see ZOG wanting to put chips and shock collars on every White man, but that’s about it.

Even though sticking magnets into your body probably isn’t going to go anywhere, this is what research is going to look like in this field for a long while. It’ll be amateur and piecemeal, by marginal figures for dubious reasons and equally dubious results.

I’m not optimistic. It’ll obviously be a total freak show.

We’re going to be wishing the government would step in and keep these people from sticking forks into their kneecaps at the rate this is going.

And really, while this risks getting too theoretical here, I do think the cyborg body-modification craze is unique because we’ve never seen anything like it in human history. You had media in the form of movies and games and art predicting a future that seemed so close and so within grasp in the 80s and 90s that created an artificial want in people where it didn’t exist before.

I suppose you had the same thing with Star Wars, but the technology depicted there was so far out of reach and didn’t even try to portray itself as close to being realized. “A long time ago, in a galaxy far away” isn’t the same thing as: the year is 2027.

Media created this expectation and this want and there was no way for people to satisfy it because the market did not provide it.

Ever resourceful, enthusiasts have simply started to fulfill that want on their own, and this means that there are going to hundreds and possibly thousands of them absolutely wrecking their bodies in the years to come.

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