February 22, 2018
Phil Collins, favorite singer of the white supremacist Alt-Right movement and suspected Russian agent, was detained in Brazil this week.
As one of the world’s most famous singers, he is used to VIP treatment.
But Phil Collins was held up at a Brazilian airport for three hours this week due to issues with his visas.
The 67-year-old, who is due to start his south American tour today is said to have been kept waiting after officials discovered he didn’t have a work visa.
The former Genesis frontman was retained for more than three hours on Tuesday at Rio de Janeiro’s Galeao International Airport before being let into the country.
The frail star is due to kick off his tour for his first concert in Rio today at the famous Maracana Stadium.
I’m not surprised he’s being harassed.
Collins is currently under investigation by Robert Mueller’s special counsel for his role in the Russian hacking conspiracy to shitpost on Twitter.
Mueller has described him as a “vicious mastermind” who personally organized the plan to get “woke blacks” to vote for Donald Trump.
He is also under investigation by a bunch of Jews for allegedly planning the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville which killed three people.
Collins was seen racing through the streets with James Fields before the infamous crash that caused the obese traffic-blocker Heather “Heifer” Heyer to have a heart attack.
At one point, Collins had his head out the window of the Challenger and was playing drums on the roof while screaming “FLOOR IT, JIMMY! IT’S TIME TO MAKE THEM PAY, JIMMY BOY!”
He was later seen crawling around in the bushes with David Duke, carrying an MPAD shoulder-mounted rocket launcher that was allegedly used to shoot down a police helicopter.
Collins has for decades produced anthems for the neo-Nazi movement. His song “I Wish It Would Rain Down” was originally entitled “I Wish It Would Rain Down Bullets on Niggers,” but Jewish producers forced him to alter the lyrics.
His hit “Do You Remember?” is about remembering the glory of Adolf Hitler’s Third Reich.
One of his most famous songs, “In the Air Tonight,” is about the smell of burning Jews at Auschwitz.
It is suspected by Robert Mueller and the Jews that Collins may be planning some kind of white supremacist revolt in Brazil.
NOTE: This story is satirical. Except the part about Collins being stopped at the airport in Rio. That is actually true.